Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Question about sexuality. adult content

Do you think its possible to be mentally attracted to a female, physically attracted to a female but not SEXUALLY attracted to a female and be a lesbian?
I ask because I hate men, sex with a man hurts physcially, they hurt you mentally more often than not, and after getting pregnant and my boyfriend of 3 years moved, changed his number, and stopped all contact I compleatly lost FAITH in men all together. I've considered the fact that I may be a lesbian for years now, I find women so sexy, so beautiful, so nice to be around. I've been with a women 5 times, and though I don't MIND it, Im not very into either. It can be fun, but mostely I just feel that its wrong, and the taste of women not very appealing to me...I know, I know..graffic. But do u think I just am destined to be a cat lady, will I get over men eventually, or its it possible Im a lesbian and it just takes some getting used too... I feel lost within myself. I haven't even had sex with a man sice I was 7 weeks pregnant and my son is now 19 months, and Im not even upset about it.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Just for Fun

Answers (9)
  • no
    what do you mean by physically attracted to females and not sexually? They turn you on,but you don't want sex with them??

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:23 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Yes, the idea of women turn me on, but when I have actually had sex with them I wasn't turned on anymore- I mean I was, but deff not from anything below there waist.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:26 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • WARNING TMI It is possible that you just haven't found the "right" girl. I experimented with women in my teenage years and in the 4 I was with I can say with certainty that they all had very different tastes and looked different "down there" Also there is more to sex with a woman than oral. Hell some straight men don't even enjoy going down on their lady. If you find yourself emotionally and physically attracted to women and at least some part of sexual closeness is appealing to you then I'd say your at the very least bisexual. I think people get way to wrapped up in labeling themselves just do what feels right to you and not worry so much about the titles of lesbian or straight or whatever. If you meet a girl and you get those feelings in your stomach then see where it goes. GL

    Answer by kayslay at 10:29 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • sounds more like you get excited by them wanting you,and once you're in the act,it loses appeal

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:30 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • i think eventually u will either be turned back on and attracted to men or u will turn to where women are sexually appealin to u. time is what will tell

    Answer by LindasueDa at 10:34 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • at buttterfly I am not a reciever, by men or women- I am a giver... I don't like the idea of sex with a man because it hurts so much, I don't like the idea of sex with a women because I don't feel comfortable with my situation "down there" at Kayslay- I do know there is more to sex with a women than oral, and have ventrued in those areas before in learning, I believe just like making love to a man takes practice and trial and error, the same thing stands with two women. I agree that lables are silly, but I don't want to jump into some lifestyle and drag my family (who is horribly mortifide by homosexualty or my son if its some sort of identy crises, and I wasnt sure if there was a way to....idk..determin weather it was some sort of sexuality crises or real things

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:35 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Well nothing says you have to tell your family until you know. And it might take dating a few women to find out. And I'm not talking about the sex stuff which you've already tried... I mean a real date like you would with a man and see if you get those same sparks.

    I know you've been burned by men but please don't fool yourself into thinking the same thing can't happen with women. We all (human beings) have it in us to be nasty. There are some manipulative, cheating, lying, bitches out there. and there are also good women AND men. Don't let yourself be scared away from one gender or the other because of bad experiences with dishonest people. As far as sex with men being painful. have you consulted your doctor. Maybe your dream man is a little less endowed. I'm sure men with less than average man parts would be thrilled to be with a woman who isn't looking for a yard stick. ;p

    Answer by kayslay at 10:48 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Perhaps Kayslay- My ex husband was extreamly large, like nothing I ever wanted to see, or experience, but his personality was amazing...until he cheated anyway, so i delt with it. My sons father however wasn't anything impressive, and I would say the other men that I've been with are about my sons fathers size or smaller. I have talked to my OBGYN and she seems to think its related to my tilted cervix but from my understanding many many women have that, and I've never heard anyone complain about pain during sex. I have my head in a pillow crying the whole sexual experience and am in pain for a day or so after. But I know if I want to be in a relationship with a man, sex is part of it, so I do it...what else am I supposed to do? Mehh- Maybe I do just find women nicer to be around and sexy because the truth is, MOST of the time, they are nicer to be around and extreamly sexy, even stright women find women sexy regaurdless CON

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:56 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • if they want to admit it or not.. Maybe Im just so scared of sex with a man, the idea of having sex with a women where a penis, or dildo for that matter doesnt need to be in me for my partner to get off gives me relief and doesnt cause fear.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:57 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.