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2 Bumps

So everyone who has more than 2 children are selfish ?

I recently made a post about really wanting a 3rd child .

I do have 2 children - it took us awhile to get pregnant with both of them and we had always planned on just having two, and I have always been very grateful that I was able to have them.... But I just cant get rid of the "want" of a 3rd baby ... I think about it all of the time and I really just feel like something ( well someone) is missing. This is the same way i felt after my first, which is why we had another... We have a 5 bedroom home, I am a stay at home mom and my husband has a great job.... But when i talk to him about it ( which is what my post was about) ..and he said he doesnt think he wanted another ... ( we have talked about it more and he said that he just never planned on a 3rd, but now since I brought it up he has been thinking about it alot too and we are going to start trying again) ....

Anyways .... So i never said I am not happy with my two kids... If I am unable to have anymore I will still be happy ( of course I would be sad for awhile ) ... They are my whole world - I love them so much that I want more of them ! lol...

So how is that selfish ? I got a tons of comments saying I was being selfish for wanting another when i already have 2, and that there are women who cant even have one, etc.... I got so upset and I deleted it.... but then I thought... Do these people then consider every person who has more than 2 planned children a selfish person ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (24)
  • I dont see how it makes up selfish. I have twin daughters, and I am 17. I may have more in the future, I don't know. But as long as youre not making it SEEM like the two kids you have now aren't enough, then haters should shut it.

    Answer by GraciesMommy464 at 10:45 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I don't think that's selfish. You and your husband sound like responsible adults, who are fortunate enough to have a home, a steady job, you can stay home. You sound like parents that are actively involved in your childrens lives, from your caring tone, you've also experienced difficulties in becoming pregnant so you're not diminishing that some women can't get pregnant and I don't see how/why people have to limit their family sized based on someone else's struggle. Unless of course you were like a crack addict who kept having kids because they kept being taken away, if you were and wanted another that would be selfish, and also that's when hey you are taking advantage of the fact that you can reproduce when so many other mothers are childless.

    Answer by LoveBuggsMommie at 10:50 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I don't think it is selfish at all! If you can handle it, good for you! I think I am selfish for only wanting one, lol, they cost too much and I like being able to treat myself to new clothes and such :P

    Answer by ILoveCade at 10:50 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I have 3 children and had never considered that people thought of me as selfish? I think that people who make those types of comments are insensitive and thoughtless themselves. There are people who cannot have children that is true, however they have other options and they will either adopt or make other choices about their own lives. I have a few friends who cannot have children - and we are still friends even though I have 3.

    Answer by catsmom1993 at 10:56 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Wow! I am the oldest of 3 and my hubby is the oldest of 4. We are currently prego with # 3 and wanted 4 or 5. Not sure how WANTING children is selfish! Good Luck! I hope you get your number 3!

    Answer by mslksdh at 11:00 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Hahahah.....I have been told that I'm selfish because I don't think I want more than my one child. I'm selfish for not giving her a sibling...which is not set in stone yet, but I really just can't imagine having another. I do think that the world would be better off if couples didn't have more than 2 children, but many people don't have any children or like my family, there is only one child. If you feel that your family is incomplete, well keep trying. I don't understand why they would say that you're not happy with the children that you already have. Ignore these people and complete your family.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 11:12 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I don't understand why anybody would say that, that is awful. I have 2 children and am pregnant with my 3rd. Did they maybe get the wrong impression from your post?

    Answer by amber1330 at 11:15 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • We have 4 children total (only 3 I birthed, the other is my "bonus" daughter from my husband's first marriage). I don't think we are selfish at all. We can provide for all of our children on our own. We have one-on-one time with each of them. We keep up with all of their medical, dental, and educational needs. We ensure that they all are treated wonderfully. How is that selfish?

    Answer by laird6372 at 11:22 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I have four girls. Three are mine and a wonderful sd. My ydd is only moths and Ive already considered having another. (dh would eally like a boy. lol) Im not sure though if I want anymore but I do not see how it is being selfish at all.

    Answer by katcb1019 at 11:35 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • They're just bitter for whatever reason. As long as you guys are happy, that's all that matters.

    Answer by Renee3K at 11:52 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

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