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2 Bumps

How to get him to emotionaly take a interest?

This may sound stupid. But I don't want to put myself at risk "emotionally cheating" on my partner again. I ended up doing once before with a ex bf. Sometimes I get the sense my bf doesn't seem interested, excited, positive about the things I'm interested in, dreams, etc. So I have noticed I been sharing my feelings, dreams, fears with my guy friends. They seem to value, take more interest in what I say. How can I get my man to show more of a interest in my dreams, interests, fear then?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Maybe you should ask him what would make him more emotionally interested. Let him know that you don't want to go to others, but that you want to go to him instead.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 11:03 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • This comes down to effective communication. If you want him to take emotional interest in something, you have to be able to communicate your feelings in a way that is relateable to him. Figuring out the most effective ways to communicate with your boyfriend will take time and practice, so what you need to do is do a lot of communicating, but without any expectations about his reactions. Instead, you'll be observing those reactions to see what aspects of your communication were effective in terms of eliciting a positive emotional reaction and which were ineffective. In time, you will develop your skills of communication to the extent that you'll be able to give your boyfriend really accurate representations of your feelings in a manner that will engage him emotionally whenever you need to.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:14 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • First, it is a two way street, do you take a keen interest in his dreams and goals?


    Second, the grass is always looking greener on the other side of the fence my dear.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:24 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • The two of you need to talk about what is important to both of you in your relationship. If you feel like its cheating then you shouldnt be doing it. Just my opinion.
    katcb1019

    Answer by katcb1019 at 11:55 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • let him know that you want him to be the one that you share these things with
    ChanQ

    Answer by ChanQ at 1:41 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • He could be depressed or have ADD and just not know it.....
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:45 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I kind of have to wonder if maybe you're convincing yourself he doesn't take an interest. Do you seem him showing interest in other people's dreams, thoughts, fears, etc? Another thought that I have is to wonder if your guy friends exaggerate their interest because they're hoping to get somewhere with you, and by comparison your boyfriend appears not to be interested.

    Also, I'd sit down with him and maybe tell him you feel like he's not interested in these things. Explain that it hurts you that he seems to express no interest, and see what he says. He might be very interested and just not good at expressing that. Or he might otherwise explain it and help you figure out a solution to this. But he can't fix something if he doesn't even know it's considered broken.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:08 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I'm in the same boat. I think a lot of the advise given is good, but these things are always easier said than done. Good luck.
    wanderingmuse

    Answer by wanderingmuse at 11:45 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Some men just aren't I think, try talking to him about how you feel. It's really the only way...
    jspenny2705

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 12:10 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

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