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Why do i still look for other men to be attracted to me?

I've been with my man for 2 years now and he is unbelievably sweet he makes me very happy, he satisfies me in bed yet i still feel the urge to flirt with other men, I feel self conscious if they are not attracted to me, don't get me wrong i don't look for relationships, or other possibilities i just... I guess i want the sexual attention of other men, and as soon as i catch myself thinking 'does he like me' I feel guilty because i shouldn't care if he likes me or not i have the man i want. so why do i keep thinking that? Is it cause i'm self centered and i just don't realize it? i just want to stop because i feel like i'm betraying my mans trust with these thoughts but most of the time i just think them and not realize it until I've already thought it. What is wrong with me?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • dont know
    i am 19 (in college)
    have had sex with 7-10
    different guys.
    i love sex dont you

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I know you said he satisfies you in bed and is good to you but does he tell you often that you're attractive? maybe that's what you're missing, tell him that you're feeling self conscious (maybe not about the men thing) and let him know that you need to be told and reassured.

    Answer by workenmom at 9:20 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • i have the same problem... it makes me feel bad too. it's kinda in our nature I guess.

    Answer by charisma10 at 9:24 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • does your man pay enough attention to you. you may be lookin for what you are lacking at home

    Answer by jodi205 at 9:36 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • there are personality disorders that cause that. Not saying you have one, just saying they can cause it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:21 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Sounds like you are missing something from you SO. Maybe he doesn't tell you enough how pretty you are (outside of the bedroom). I didn't check your profile, but I think you are young, you just need to make a decision in your own mind that you love the man your with and you don't need anything from other men. But I have a feeling this confindence will come with age. As long as you DO NOT act on any of these feelings, it could be ok. Who doesn't get a ego boost from the young grocery bagger flirting with you!! LOL

    Answer by robinann5 at 10:31 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I've thought about this before, I think I'm the same way. Here's what I came up with. I don't think humans were made to be with only one partner for their entire life. We're not supposed to get married. I think there's something inherently animal about us, we're trying to get sexual attraction to mate so that we can have tons of babies and spread out our particular genes. Goes along with survival of the fittest. Hope that made some sense.

    Answer by prettyrayray at 11:11 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I think that too, sometimes. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. We, as women, want to be attractive. I want men to find me attractive. I don't want to be with them, its just a boost to the ego for a man to think I'm hot. I love my DH more than anything, but when another man checks me out..... DAMN THAT FEELS GOOD!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • There is nothing wrong with you, this is completely normal for a lot of people. This has nothing to do with your man or you lacking something in your relationship, you just crave to be desired, or feel desireable. This is totally natural. I am the same way, my husband I have been together for 6 years, and he recognizes this in me, I like to flirt or to see other men looking at me, and because my husband and I have great communication and he knows what is really going on, it's not an issue. I mean of course there are lines you don't cross, you don't speak to the men, you don't do suggestive things, but eye contact, seeing a man looking and liking what he sees and letting him know you see him's fun... As long as your head and your heart are in the right place, I wouldn't worry yourself!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • it's how you have come to value yourself. it is not him.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 2:34 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

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