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My family refuse to support my marriage next summer!

Me and Toni have been together since December 2006 and from day 1 my family did not like him because of his lifestyle before he met me. After our daughter was born we went through a lot of stress from financial, emotional and lack of sleep since we were both young parents. we are both from England and now live in the States, but Toni had enough and actually left me and went back to England. About a month later though he came back and told me he was sorry he needed me in his life and needed to be there for me and Aly. I am absolutely in love with the man I gave him a second chance and everything was different about him. Toni asked me to marry him and now my family don't even want to go to the wedding and make the comments "You'll just end up divorce, statistics don't lie." My grandparents even said "he'll get tired of your vagina" What can I do


Asked by HollyRose at 9:44 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Wow. With a family like that, who needs enemies? I say you and Toni plan the wedding you want. If your family doesn't want to come, count yourself lucky to be able to spend the day enjoying your wedding without their crudeness and negativity. I would certainly not put up with those kinds of comments. When they say things like that, I would simply state that I find that offensive, and I would walk away.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 9:49 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Wow..I would just have a small ceremony with people who do support your marriage, or just elope. My husband and I went to town hall...I wanted the house over the wedding. It was perfect.

    Answer by Farrahann at 9:48 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • If you guys are happy that's all that matters, as much as you would like your family at your wedding if they aren't going to be supportive then they will ruin the day for you and you would be better off not having them there.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 10:11 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Sorry they want to be naysayers -- just have your own fun. Sometimes the real family we have are the ones we CHOOSE

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 10:20 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I say go ahead and marry him if that's what you want and feel is right for you. Hopefully in time your family will come around. I'm sure your family is just worried you'll get hurt. But the relationship is between you and Toni, that's what is most important. Then you can work on getting your family to support you...but if they don't, you still have to do what your heart tells you. Good luck!

    Answer by robinann5 at 10:27 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I think I'd thank my grandparents for their concern but not to not worry about my vagina. As for your nuptuals, if that many ppl are against it then perhaps you could take some more time to think about it. It's just a piece of paper. Live with him. Build a firm foundation. If you continue to think it's the right thing to do then by all means do so.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:41 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • wow your family is being really unfair. It doesn't matter if they agree with your marriage, its your wedding day and they need to show their support for YOU regardless of whether they like your husband-to-be or not. But if they don't come around to the idea, I would suggest having a small wedding somewhere gorgeous. Spend the money on quality not quantity. If you cut down the number of guests you save all that money, or could spend all that money on a nicer dress, nicer location, nicer honeymoon. I've always wanted to have a small wedding on a beautiful island somewhere. A lot of places will book a week-long honeymoon for free if you get married at their resort.

    Answer by IsaiahsMommy515 at 11:34 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • You have to make your own decisions and not let other people affect your decisions. Especially with you having a child, I would do what you think is right. Nobody is going to live your life but you.

    Answer by MrsHart6 at 12:30 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • invite them if they come they come and if they don't oh well your marrying him not them, if he were abusive to you or aly it would be different. Let him prove them wrong they will come around and when they do you can have a new marriage renewal say in 10 years.

    Answer by Theoneandonly at 4:24 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • My question is why would you have stayed and had a child with someone your family was so against?

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:43 AM on Nov. 27, 2008