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6 Bumps

Virginity... A wonderful thing, but with age... A bad thing? HELP! adult content

I have a male friend who is a virgin, he's coming up to his 26th birthday this year and he's desperate to rid himself of his virginity. He's over weight and geeky, with glasses. He's nervous and kinda silly around people. He's OK around me because I don't judge him, people can be so cruel. He's trying to be better with people, and he's losing weight. But he still acts like a frightened animal around women. He's asked me to help him become more confident... But I'm at a loss as what to do. Yeah I've told him what I'd do, how I've coped with life... But I'm not all knowing... So does anyone have any advice I could give him? I've been thinking that, even though he's asked me for help, I should just let him find his own way, after all he is an adult!


Asked by LaraHappyMummy at 11:12 AM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (331 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I'm sure there are several self-help books for this. You are being a great friend by helping him as much as you can, giving him great advice and maybe some pointers/insight to his WRONG approaches. Maybe something like Dating for Dummies (there's one of those books for everything; I've actually purchased of couple of those....for dunnies books and gotten some useful info from them. Little by little he will figure it out.

    Answer by meooma at 11:48 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I think you should just be his friend,, it kind of sounds like he might be hinting for you to volunteer to "shed " his virginity,, I would refer him to a good therapist/

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:15 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Help him find confidence with women he could ACTUALLY get,not fantasy women
    Tell him to join a group with like-minded women in it. Tell him to take on a sport he can do/handle

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:15 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • no, not a prostitute that's gross, just put him in situations with women, start a conversation then excuse yourself so he can talk and get "practice" talking and doing things with women. You said he's fine with you bc you don't judge him, if he finds a lady friend that doesn't judge him and he likes being around the sex will just come naturally. Apparently he needs an emotional connection to be able to have sex making himself comfortable.

    Answer by tirelessefforts at 11:16 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • He could go to and search for groups that share his interests. Like photography, cards, travel, hiking, going to the movies, golf, book club, etc, etc. Being active and meeting new people is the way for him to socialize. You never know who he might meet. GL!!

    Answer by elizabr at 11:22 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I've had this problem with a friend before, I set them up numerous times, but nothing came of it. I eventually just gave up LoL and my friend started going out more, talking to people online, and did find someone he was happy with.

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 11:29 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • thats a hard thing to do , just support him in a adult , realistic , honest , non belittleing way , you know him so do it acodingly .

    Answer by letstalk747 at 11:16 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I had a friend like that. We just kept introducing him to girls and eventually it happened for him. It took him a while to get comfortable, but always being out with a bunch of 'comfortable' friends with a new face or two thrown in on a consistent basis will raise his self esteem,.

    Answer by wanderingmuse at 11:18 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • You could be his "wing chick" and just make sure he gets out there and talks to women, and discuss his "moves" and get him to see where he's getting things right and where he's way off base.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:31 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • He has to be himself! When he finds someone who likes him, she should see him for who he really is not who he's trying to be.
    I have a friend like that and I love him for who he is. He's 37, virgin, & the sweetest thing ever. His virginity doesn't bother him anymore but he went through that phase. He's traveling overseas right now to open up to other cultures.

    Answer by Alexias30 at 11:37 AM on Mar. 27, 2011