Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

NOW Im getting pissed!!

Dh and I are moving up North soon. We are moving to be closer to his children. I am VERY excited about this move, but my MOTHER is making me feel so flippin uneasy, and aggravated!

She keeps telling me that the only reason my husband wants to move back home is so he can be closer to his ex. WTH??!! No he isnt. She says that ALL men go back to their childrens mother. She says that he is going to drag me all the way up North, and dump me to be with his kids mother. I am VERY secure in my marriage, but now her words are getting into my head.

What if he does decide to leave me for her? Then what? I mean he obviously married ME for a reason, and we are very happy together... why on earth would he leave me for his ex?

Maybe he will miss having that family unit???- Now I am beginning to intimidate myself... I dont know how to shake off my nerves, or my mothers words.... !!!

Have any of you ladies gone through this??!!

Answer Question

Asked by A.Mommys.Love at 11:51 AM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (-9 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Sounds like something my mother would say to keep me from leaveing. Maybe just talk to him about it, if it is really bothering you.

    Answer by Liamsmom09 at 11:54 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • your mother is just trying to get under your skin because she doesn't want you to move away from her have you asked her what proof does she have that she is right and ask her why she thinks Every man goes back to the childrens mother...what has she seen in the past to make her think that way? I think your husband should be commended for wanting to be closer to his ex. some dad's could care less about how close or far they are from their kids.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 11:55 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • lol, sorry I meant kids...I was so busy thinking about ex's

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 11:56 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Stop it you are doing great supporting your hubby. Tell your mom if she says anything again you will walk away or hang up the phone!

    Insecurity and jealousy will hurt your marriage don't go there!

    Answer by gammie at 11:57 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Generationally, what your mom is saying may have been true for her cohorts. There was a time when father's were, as a whole, less emotionally attached to the children. Many focused on work and "raising a family", which consituted provision and decision-making. Today, things are a little different, as fathers tend to be more involved in the child's life.
    Being closer to your kids is reason enough to stay close. Don't let your mom's comments bother you. If your husband wanted to be with his ex-wife, he would be married to her.
    Be happy, and enjoy your new adventure with your husband.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 11:59 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I agree, don't listen to her, and have a talk with your mom and your husband. My ex mother-in-law brainwashed her son my whole marriage and ended up poisonning our relationship.

    Answer by joanie70 at 12:00 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Well for starters; if she lives near you; that might be her defense mechanism for hiding that she's going to miss you. Maybe ask her why she's saying things like that; and explain that theyre hurting your feelings. I'm pretty sure your mom isn't realizing the weight her words are carrying. So maybe let her know she's being hurtful; and ask if she's upset about you leaving because you'll be further from her. There's always underlying reasons for adult behaviour; you just have to figure out what that underlying feeling is.

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 12:44 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Don't get pissed especially if your Husband has given you no reason to be he just wants to be close to his kids and there is nothing wrong with that. I hate to say this but some mothers need to mind there own business,(mine included). When my mom says something about my Husband or relationship I say Mom it's my life, she gets mad but she get's over it.
    Ask her why is she putting this S..t in your head and please have a little more faith in us...maybe she is jealous you are leaving her and is trying to make problems so you need to talk to hubby to but i'm banking all this Drama is on mom.....I have stoped telling my mom certain things because of this type of issue and I don't call her to often either because she makes smart remarks like you don't have time for me since you got married and i tell her i cant just drop everything a come at your beck in call....Moms

    Answer by dusty1962 at 12:59 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Lord knows I also cannot ever shake my mothers words, ever, either. Consider her words and live your life.


    Answer by rosetoes at 2:26 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I have , the move part i mean. we moved back to his hometown where he grew up. I recently found out hes been talking to his ex, nothing inappropriate but it still made me uncomfortable considering we both agreed that ex's belong in the past. so we had a talk and he said hed stop talking to her.

    It has been rough and sometimes i think we made a mistake but theres nothing i can do now but try to accept it up here.
    my advice is follow your gut.

    Answer by notjstasocermom at 2:53 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.