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12 Bumps

What do you think of large families? Quite upset about a woman's comments today.

We have 13 1/2 children (I'm pregnant surprise, surprise!) and love having a large family. I'm not religious but my husband is and so his beliefs were what started us off really and made me feel okay with having the large family I'd always dreamed of.

We have one set of fraternal twins and our children range in age from 21 to 10 months old and I've just turned 39. I went to a family cooking group a few days ago which we'd been excited about for MONTHS with the younger children and a woman saw my brood, all minus the 21 year old (she's at college) were there and she started whispering to her friends about her. I didn't mind, I guess we're something of a spectacle occasionally but then later on a woman came up to us and told us that she didn't think we had enough attention for each child and that she'd seen one of my children pinch another and me not see. She was very disdainful and it upset me a little. Made me wonder what the rest of the world thinks. I told my DH what she said and he said not to let it get to me and that there's much worse 'abuse' out there and one day once the children have flown the nest maybe we could try and help them too.

I know I should listen to him but I can't help wondering what others think, me and my husband are both full time parents. My husband works from home and makes enough money to support us completely, so our issues are mainly with people thinking we can't raise that many properly. What do you think of us/other large families? You can be as brutally honest as you like!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (69)
  • I would ignore them. You probably make those women feel insecure they can probably barely handle the one or two kids they have and are annoyed you can keep track of 13 and be a good mother to them. Have as many kids as you want and don't listen to the morons out there.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I think that if and when the children's emotional, physical, financial, or psychological needs are no longer being met due to the fact of there being so many other children, there's too many. Personally, I would never have that many children, for many different reasons. I do think it's too many. But...it's not my place to dictate how someone else chooses to live their life. My advice would just be to ignore those who disagree with you. People are always going to have conflicting opinions on this.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 12:13 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I say if you can afford to take care of your children and there is nothing wrong with your heath or the heath of the babies as you have them , then don't worry about what other people think. Also, as long as your children don't resent having a large family then you are fine. I came from a large family(8) and am the oldest. My family was diffrent for the fact that no one kept a job and the goverment and tax payers took care of us finacially. Since that doesn't apply to you don't worry about some old bussy buddy.
    Liamsmom09

    Answer by Liamsmom09 at 12:15 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Well I'm a bit jealous. I always wanted a dozen kids, just didn't happen. We stopped at the number we could reasonably provide for. You are able to provide for them, so who cares what others think. Oh, and the lady who mentioned the child pinching another and you didn't see it...my guess is, she doesn't have children, has never had children and so assumes they are small adults. Busybodies abound, ignore them
    meriana

    Answer by meriana at 12:15 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Oh, and hon...whatever you do, don't lt what someone says on here upset you. No matter WHAT you do or how you live your life, there will always be someone on this site who disagrees and has to be nasty about it.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 12:16 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I don't like judgement where none is due. There are all different types of familes . . . . single families, same sex parented families, adoptive families, childless families, blended families . . . as and long as there is nurturing, love, and guidance, there is no room for judgement.

    I have two small kids and feel exhausted and over-extended. I think one of the reasons people look at you is because they can't imaginbe having enough energy or resources to handle that many kids. It may be more about them than you.

    Try not to let it bother you.

    Hugs.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:17 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I wonder why anyone cares what Moms here say? And if Moms are nasty and critical and don't agree with YOUR decisions about your family, WHO CARES?
    Be happy.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 12:17 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I think that's awesome! People don't seem to understand that you just NEVER run out of love! It's not like you're sharing your love between kids - because with every new baby, your heart just expands so you can love even more.
    My grandma had 12 kids, now the youngest is 42 and the oldest I believe is 65. She was 42 when she had the youngest. She is an amazing woman! She is the family matriarch, the center stone, the one person who knows everything that is going on with everyone. I've never had anything but the deepest respect for her and women like her.
    I can't say I'd want that many kids - but that's just me.
    As for the pinching without you noticing thing...are you kidding me? Seriously? I had two older brothers. HALF the crap we did to each other went unnoticed by our parents. There were only THREE of us and our parents didn't keep a microscopic eye on our every move. It's the nature of kids to quibble. Great job mama!
    FluffyMamaBunny

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 12:17 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Wow 13 and 1/2? Congrats. I love big families, and anyone who is willing to take one on is comendable in my eyes. Plus it doesnt matter if you have 2 or 200 kids do things all the time without being seen. Honestly this persons comments were uncalled for and lets face it if you had asked her if her kids had ever done anything without her seeing she would not have been able to say no, cuz they all do it. I have two and they constantly do things that get reported back to me. I wish i could have a large family but right now its kinda impossible, but i commend you on you great mothering.
    2breath2live

    Answer by 2breath2live at 12:17 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • It always blows me away that people feel they have the right to talk to others that way. She can think whatever she wants, unless the child pinched her she should have kept her trap shut. You know what your strengths and weakness are regarding your children and I am sure you adjust accordingly...like most Mommas.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 12:19 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

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