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2 Bumps

Help! I'm being smothered!

Sigh. What do I do about an overly clingy 2 1/2 yr old? DD won't even let me shower or go to the bathroom alone. Yes; I realize it's what I signed up for as a mother; but the fact I'm never alone is starting to get to me. I just moved to a new city; and all I have is my daytime babysitter while I work. I'm up at 5:45 every morning; dressing me; and getting DD fed; dressed; brushed and out the door in the hopes we don't miss our bus; then off to work I go; after work I pick up DD; trek home; start supper all while my child is clinging to my legs demanding I play; I try and play while doing some laundry; light house work; and getting supper. At dinner time it's a battle to get her to eat unless I give in to her and feed her my self; then we start bath (by the time dinner is over its 7pm) and in bath here I hope to get at least the dinner dishes done and left overs in containers; but low and be hold; DD shrieks as if in pain; I run to the bathroom and I get a "Hi Mommy! Water on the floor!" I huff; and grab the mop. then half way through that; she apperantly needs to come out of the tub right that second; so she starts to get out herself. I haven't even washed her hair or soaped her up yet; so this process begins. All soaped up and washed; she then decides to play some more; "Okay" I say and proceed to finish some dishes and grab clean jammies for tonight; oh p.s; I'm still in my work clothes at this point. I'm washing my last dish and there stands my naked DD; so we get dressed. Then she requests crackers for bed time "No; no crackers you just brushed your teeth and had supper not even 45 mins ago." -cue tantrum- So it's a fight off to bed; and the theatrics of bed time; asking for more water in her water bottle; crackers; any and all the stuffed animals in the house to join her in bed. During this 2 hr long process; I finished cleaning up; folding laundry and realize it's 11pm and my child .. is still awake screaming for me to go lay in bed with her. At this point I still need a shower and to change my clothes. I desperately ask to go have a shower before I come cuddle; -cue shrieking- So I just get into bed with her and pass out. Wake up around 1ish; i finally drag myself out of DD's bed; and shower and drop to my bed in exaustion; just to start it over again in 4 1/2 hours. HELP! Weekends are worse because I'm home; I can't get anything done; or any peace unless its sitting in her room playing. I love my DD; but I can't sit and play for hours on end; there's things that need to get done. I'm a single mom trying to just do the best I can; but there's so many flippin things to do in a day!!

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DesignerMom0801

Asked by DesignerMom0801 at 12:35 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (42 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Oh, I know what you mean. It doesn't start getting easier until they are closer to 5. Then, they are sooooo much more independent. Hang in there . . .

    And, I am not meaning this offensively, but you really need to be in the bathroom watching your 2 year old when she is bathing. 2 year olds drown all the time. I know you have a lot to get done, but safety probably comes first.

    It will get better. I promise.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:43 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Wow Mom, I feel your pain! I am a single mom as well and my DD is almost 4. I will say that it gets better as they get a little older! My DD will now play by herself for a little while -- so thats my break. We also made a deal that helps me -- She gets to watch TV (Franklin or Little Bear-- let her choose) in my bed (which is just outside my bathroom) while I take a shower. Then after my bath, we snuggle together, or I rock her, until its bedtime. She also gets to sleep with me on Friday nights -- IF she goes to sleep in her bed during the week. We have "date-night" every Friday and make a night of it (paint nails, watch movies together and generally just play around) -- I remind her of date-night all week and she LOVES it so it helps me out DURING the week. Have hope Mom -- there IS light at the end of the tunnel! (I can't even imagine having time to DATE though) haha :-)
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 12:44 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • A couple of ideas........make her your big helper to get housework done, and some laundry folded, etc. Give her part of it to do. Like a dust rag to dust while you dust, a swiffer or such, to push while you vac, a few clothes to fold of her own (who cares how it gets folded), anything similar to work together onit. Similarly, make her your helper/partner when making meals. Give her any small task you can think of to help. Even if it's stirring a little bit of something in her own sized bowl (closely suppervised). Heap on the praise for all of these and tell her she is such a good helper and big girl. Given these opportunities she may start to fed herself at mealtime but do what you have to in order to get through a meal. Change your clothes as soon as you get home and take bath time as a time for you to sit and talk with her in the bathroom. You can play with a couple of toys, breath & relax a little.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:26 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I agree with pp. Have her help you. It does get better. Single mom of a 3 and 5 year old here.
    reaandiziesmama

    Answer by reaandiziesmama at 1:31 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • more..........Don't make bath time too long but enough so she has you all to herself and you can unwind a little. Plus she should never be in there alone. She needs more one on one time with you. The things mentioned already should help to focus on her and make her feel special.
    As far as bed time goes set a time like 8 PM and cuddle, read some books, and tell her it's bedtime. After getting more attention already she might be agreeable, but if not do as Supernanny advises. Tell her it is time to sleep and you can sit on the floor with your back to the bed and if she gets up put her back in the bed. Stay calm and do this lovingly,but no talking.   You might have to do this over and over and for a few nights but it does work.  Remember no talking. 
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:37 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • more......If you leave the room do the same thing. Take her back to bed over and over. Calmly and no talking.

    I hope some of these ideas help. I know how hard you are working. And I know how much you want to have a great relationship with her. I wish you all the best. hug
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:39 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I just wanted to add (hope I'm not driving you crazy) that if/when you get her to an earlier bedtime don't go nuts cleaning and such then, but take some time to relax and get your rest. Take care.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 4:13 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

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