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4 Bumps

Son wants to contact his Dad

I am a nervous wreck, he is 16 and the last time he was in his life about a year ago all he did was hurt him. lie to him and make promises that were too far out there. and when he contacted him again in November all he did was lie once again. and now my son wants to forgive him. I know he is old enough to make that choice but i am so afraid of him getting hurt by him or being a bad influence on him seeing how he was in Prison for 16 yrs. and since he has been out for 7 months we still haven''t got a cent towards child support. I do not trust him for many reasons. When i got pregnant with him his Mother called 3 months later and tried to tell me he was dead and he played along with that one for a year.
I really need some advice.........

 
jenn4443

Asked by jenn4443 at 1:16 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 23 (18,409 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I would let him contact him...you have to sit your child down and explain to him about his dad and get your child to accept this man for who he is and not what your son wants him to be...if he makes promises to your son, explain to your son that he shouldn't depend on the promises and to ignore it...once your son has had enough of your ex lying, he'll be all right...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:31 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Unfortunately theres not much you can do. My older kids dad abandoned them at 7, 4 and 3, and started coming around when they were teenagers. Its very hard to see them disappointed time and again by this man (sperm donor) but they keep trying to make a connection. Just be there for him and let him learn on his own. My kids with my ex are now 21, 18 and 17 and the 21 yr old still tries to make plans and he always cancels. He even got married and never told the kids. I only knew because his other ex told me.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:19 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • It's a harsh reality that I may go thru someday, but its up to the child when they get that age, maybe they will see why you never wanted them to discover that relationship, or maybe it will work out for the best, pray and continue to have his back!
    Mommylovesu2011

    Answer by Mommylovesu2011 at 1:26 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I would let him contact him. My son is like that with his dad. Doing the same stuff, lying, cancelling plans, and other outrageous stuff. Your son is going to have to make his own mind up about his dad. You need to be there for him afterwords. Make sure you son knows you are there for him.
    Angela_1974

    Answer by Angela_1974 at 8:17 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • i am going thru something of the same sort. my son went thru torment when he lived with his dad. he shouldn't even be called a dad, but... his dad is in prison and been there for a couple yrs now, but now he wants to write his dad and go see him...i can't tell him no and i can't tell him yes. it is my son's decision and i have to be both woman enough and momma enough to handle his decision.
    MommaFossil

    Answer by MommaFossil at 7:45 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • really i think it's up to the child. you said your son was 16 and his dad did all that a year ago so he does remember. but he has to make up his own mind about his father. if you try and keep him from his father it may come back on you. and that you don't want.
    oldfashionSAHM

    Answer by oldfashionSAHM at 1:21 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

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