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Should family keep family papers or let the adoptive mom have them?

about 4 years ago my brother passed away. no one in the family was able to take the kids for one reason or another. but they was adopted by really great people. they keep us in the kids lives and let us know everything going on. they are really open with us and even talk to the kids about my brother and keep his memory alive in them. they believe it's the best for the kids to know who their bio-parents was.

my brother left some papers and stuff with my of his oldest girls birth.. crib card, foot prints, all that stuff. i have everything photo copied. and have been planning on sending the adoptive mom a photo copy of everything. but now i'm thinking that "the mom should have the original" and she is their mother and the best mother they have ever had.

my problem is every time i try and package the stuff to send to her i about break down in tears. i can't bring myself into packaging it. i feel like it would make her day.. but i still have this aching in my heart about losing my brother and losing the kids.


Asked by oldfashionSAHM at 2:31 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,514 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Would it be easier to put the stuff up and give them to the child they belong when they are older? Giving it to the Mom would be a wonderful gesture. As a PP suggested splitting it might work for you. What a lovely Mothers Day gift it would make. I understand how hard this is for you..but it is the right thing to do.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:41 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • No Id send a photo copy of it.

    Answer by gemgem at 2:32 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Would it be possible to split it, send her a few things and photocopies of the rest?

    Answer by kayalouise at 2:33 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Copy or original, I'm sure your niece would love to have it to show your great nieces and nephews - when the time comes. It's got to be difficult to lose a brother. You'll find a time, when you are ready, to send these things. Everyone morns differently. It sounds like you really miss him and don't want to part with his things.


    Answer by JSD24 at 2:40 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I think the adoptive mom should have them to hand them down to the kids once they adults.

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 2:52 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • My roommate was adopted and never knew his mom/real family, aside from the brother he was adopted with. But he has everything. Or copies of it anyway. He's got family histories, entire backgrounds of his birth parents and grandparents, and even photos of them. I think that the adoptive family should DEFINITELY have copies of that kind of things, so that the kids know their family history (medically and otherwise).

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 2:58 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I would split it half and half...make photo copies of everything, but you keep half the originals and give her half of the originals, and then you each get photocopies of what you don't have the originals of? Would htat be fiar?

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 4:05 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • my dad lives down there and sees them about every weekend. so the family history is not anything we are worried about because they will have all that. they have pictures of the family already. and email addresses. we are still in full contact with them. and the "adoptive" mom will call and ask someone in the family if she needs any family medical history.

    Comment by oldfashionSAHM (original poster) at 3:03 PM on Mar. 27, 2011