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How do I deal with gender disappointment?

I am pregnant with our second child. We found out Thursday that its another boy. I am thrilled that we're having a healthy baby because in the end, thats what counts. But I am also somewhat sad. We REALLY thought it was a girl. I love having a boy, but this is our last child and I was looking forward to all the fun things to do with a little girl.

I am an only child as is DH. I had a very close relationship with my mom and I am actually sad that I wont ever get to help pick out a dress, do cheer, fix hair, all the girly stuff. I was watching a cheer competition on ESPN this morning and had to change the channel because I was about to cry. I AM happy we're having a boy, but I feel sad for all the things I will be missing.

How do I handle this?


Asked by ArmyWifeAshlie at 2:59 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 17 (4,706 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • You're doing the right thing by opening up about your true feelings. I think that you should express your emotions, cry if you need to. But he'll be a little blessing. your older son will have someone to rough house with. Boys are usually more protective over their moms (so now you'll have 2 Sir Lancelot's ;)

    Answer by Alexias30 at 3:07 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I think its normal to be sad i really wanted a girl when i found out i was having a boy i was like WAAA but i couldnt be any happier :D

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 3:02 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • No advice but I wanted to share another reason why I like to wait until birth to find out the gender. In case of gender disappointment, like what happened for our youngest, you can't help but feel better because you are looking right into your little one's eyes and all the disappointment fades. Just like what will happen when your little boy is born, you will look at him and all that disappointment, if it hasn't already, will be gone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • yea my aunt really wanted a girl her second time (wich was there last baby) and they had a boy she cried for a while but its totally understandable and our hormones are crazy as is lol

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 3:07 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I was the other way a little. My first was a boy. I'm such a tomboy that I really didn't want a girl for fear she'd be a Miss Priss, Total Princess (no offense) and that I'd 1) have nothing in common with her, and 2) not know what to do with her. Guess what? My second was was a GIRL! When I found out I was disappointed, for the above stated reasons. Well, now she's 4 and such a Monkey that I've gotten over it. She'll dress up and be a girl for things, but she'll also get down and dirty too, sometimes more so than her brother.

    I think it's natural to feel disappointed when your hopes won't become a reality.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 3:27 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I'm glad someone else understands! I think its magnified since this is for sure our last baby.

    Comment by ArmyWifeAshlie (original poster) at 3:03 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • When i found out my second child was a boy i held it together for ohhhhh, idk an hour - then came the water works lol he has been THE sweetest boy in the whole world and now with our third surprise pregnancy i am finally getting a girl!! I was relieved i wasn't having a girl after my son got here though. you realize all the downsides to having a girl after you get over the initial disappointment

    Answer by Ethans_Ma at 3:10 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I am pregnant with my 3rd girl and I have wanted a boy since our first, and I don't know if we will have anymore kids. I think we will have one more, but I don't KNOW that. The way I have thought about it is that I KNOW how to handle a girl already. Everything we have is for a girl. Try not to be too disappointed. I am sure there will be a friend's child or grandchild someday that you will be able to do all the girly things with.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 3:14 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I keep telling myself how much cheaper it will be in the end, and how great it will be that we have 2 boys to play and stuff. I know the logic behind everything, but that doesnt help the disappointment. This is for sure our last baby, DH is getting a vasectomy. I dont want more than 2 children. Neither does he.

    I am so glad I'm not alone in feeling like this. I had ppd after my son was born and I am hoping this doesnt happen again. :(

    Comment by ArmyWifeAshlie (original poster) at 3:18 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • My brother has 2 girls and I  am sure it bothers him that he will not have a boy to do boy things with or to carry on the family name.   But,I'm sure he is fine about that now.  It has been awhile.


    Answer by dancer at 3:34 PM on Mar. 27, 2011