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4 Bumps

Clothes stealing step mom

We just had spring break and my 3 girls went to their dad's house for a week. I sent them over a weeks worth of warm weather clothes and a weeks worth of winter clothes because the weather keeps changing, plus pj, underwear and socks. So between my 3 girls there were about 40 oufits and 6 jackets (not including Pjs). My husband and I make good money so our 5 kids (these 3 with my ex plus the 2 we have together, all girls lol) wear nice clothes: Justice, limited too. Well they came home today with maybe a third of the oufits they were sent with (and most of those were the winter oufits that they won't be wearing anymore). I called my ex RIGHT AWAY to asked where my kids clothes were. His wife picked up and when I asked said that my kids were showing their clothes off in front of her kids (she has 2 girls around the same ages) so she said she took the clothes from them and gave them to her DDs to teach them not to show off. I should say that they have almost no money, my ex doesn't even pay child support because of how little he makes I don't enforce it (even though I could) because the money wouldn't be much at all to us but it would ruin them. I told her I don't care what happened she has no right to take my girls' clothing that I bought and that she will return them. I asked my girls if they were showing off and they all said no and I don't doubt it because this woman is always picking things to complain about my kids (plus I think she saw it as a way to give her kids nice clothes without buying them). She hung up on me but I called my ex later. He said that he talked to his wife and she said that the clothes were already given to her girls and it wasn't fair to take them back. I said 1. they were STOLEN from my girls, how are they supposed to feel and 2. I don't care about HER girls, they are not my problem. I told my ex to drop off every piece of clothing or I would go after him for all the child support he hasn't paid in the last 3 years. His wife got on the phone and called me heartless. I am looking out for my own children not her's, is that wrong? My girls are so upset so I told them that if we don't get the clothes back, we will buy more but if they go back over there, take back what clothes they can.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (24)
  • Don't go over there,, it probably made her feel jealous to see the nice things your girls have,, YES it is awful, horrible and sucky, but I would never pack that way again for them,, just let it go, because your girls have to interact with this witch, and even if you get them back from her kiddos (who think their mommy gave them to them) then they are going to stir up crap with your kiddos as well. I want you to understand, I think your 100% in the right, but doing anything about it is going to cause grief for you kids! Be thankful you have a good man now,, and honestly maybe drum up a bit of pity for her kids? Hugs to you!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 5:23 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • If it were me, i would have done the same thing.
    Not fair to her girls to take them back? Maybe their mommy should learn not to take things when they dont belong to her.
    I wouldnt care if they didnt have money, that is not my problem or business. You are doing them enough of a favor by not asking for his CS.
    I would go over there and explai to her girls why the clothes need to be gven back. The fact is, THEIR mommy thought it was ok to take what was not hers, and if they want clothes, they ask THEIR mommy for them.
    And after that, i would make a checklist of EVERYTHING i pack for them from now on, make 2 copies, and go down the list with your ex, when he picks them up. Then have him sign both copies, showing that he verifies the things on the list are packed... And let him know that if he returns them, with ONE missing item again, you will seek CS. If his new wife wants to steal your kids clothes, he should pay for them.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 5:27 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • No. To me it sounds like you are being very fair to him about child support, and are looking out for your kids by sending them with everything they would need to be able to spend time with their father. What she did was wrong. I don't care if they were "showing off" or not, the solution is not taking the clothes you and your DH work hard to pay for and giving them to the other girls.

    I cannot imagine what would be going through the minds of either adult defending this decision. I would be saying that he can either return them like a man and a father, or that you would be bringing a police escort with you to retrieve them yourself. That is a LOT of outfits to be taken!
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 5:28 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I must be a heartless witch. I would ask one more time for the clothes, if you don't get them back in a set amount of time make alsit of what was stolen and make a police report, finally, I would also make sure the child support were enforced, asap... all of the back support as well as make sure that they are paying it reilgiously. She had no right to do this and if she gets nasty with the girls I would go and have visitation adjusted to supervised with just their father...

    told you I am heartless.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:35 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • It is NOT FAIR for stepmom to steal the clothes for her kids! I think you are right to ask for them back. I also think dad needs to grow a pair and stand up to step and give the clothes back! In the future I would write my kids names in the clothes (as proof they are mine) and tell ex and step that you have a checklist and pictures of every item you send over and expect ALL the clothes returned at end of visit. I would also remind them that YOU bought the clothes and he did not pay a dime for any of it. If they get nasty then I would try to change the visitation order. I would also stop being ms-nice-gal and go after him for CS-- since he seems to put step and her kids feelings above his own kids... plus the fact that you now have to buy your kids new clothes to replace what they stole. Only fair that dad should be made to pay for the new clothes this time.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 5:56 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • That's why I don't send anything that I care about with my son to his dad's.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 6:19 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Well I don't usually either, usually it's just 2 oufits each but they were there for a week I can't just not let my children have clothes or make them wear rags just because their step sister wear pretty much rags
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:01 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Go after him for the child support. Thats what I would do. I would not put up with some step witch taking my kids clothes. If she wants nice things for her kids then she should get a job and make the money to get them.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:53 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • How about handing down your girls clothes? If your kids are older or larger, they could donate their used clothes to their step-sisters. Wonder how that would make step-mommy feel.
    BraenatsNeeNee

    Answer by BraenatsNeeNee at 8:56 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • My girls are slightly smaller then her girls so handing them down won't work. They wear the same size so once my girls outgrow their clothes, their step sisters won't fit into them either. Besides I have 2 other DDs who I want to hand the clothes down to instead.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:37 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

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