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3 Bumps


Ive been with this guy for 6 months. He is almost 31 years old, still lives at home. He went to college, had to file bankrupty, then found a "decent" job only to get fired.

I almost always have to drive to him. Because he only has enough gas to go to his coaching job and thats it. He never really just calls me, I always call him. His excuse is he doesnt like to talk....

Anyways I love him but am I shallow for wanting a man who can take care of himself and put 50 50 in a relationship?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Some would say you have low self esteem because you are the only person in the relationship. You are fully aware that he has nothing to offer you yet you keep pulling at nothing. What do you want out of life? If you want a man that never reaches for his own because he is solely dependent on mommy taking care of him and you want to be his new mommy then you two are a match made in heaven but if you want and deserve a man who can stand on his own and have enough to care for the two of you and not his mommy then seek that type of man. Whatever he is before the relationship gets serious is what he will be throughout life. You can't raise a grown man. Cut your losses unless you want to feel needed by providing transportation and cash to a grown man.

    Answer by MzSassie at 5:40 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • MzSassie is right! He's NEVER going to change. He is a deadbeat boyfriend. Why don't you make a list of what you want and don't want in a guy and don't settle. It's important to find what you want because it determines a great amount of your happiness. After 6 months!!! Hurry get out. This guy will just keep getting worse. He is not that into you, or anyone but himself/

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 6:44 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • i think u deserve better then that, a guy should be able to take care of the women u shouldnt have to take care of him

    Answer by mommie_of02 at 8:11 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • No your right if he want to be with you then he need to put as much as you do into the relationship, it sounds like he's lazy and your convienent for him you always go to him,,,,heck gas is expensive for you too, let him come to you sometimes and if he says no then you stay home and do something else. Let him wonder what your doing he is using you and he knows you Love him but he doesn't show he loves you and he needs to move away from mama and get a real job and place.
    Don't start life with bad habbits and taking care of a man is a bad habbit especially if your not married to him and he has no motivation or ambition in life.....

    Answer by dusty1962 at 8:13 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I might play for a while, but I'd never take him seriously. He obviously can't take himself seriously....

    Answer by wanderingmuse at 8:14 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I agree with the first response. I have to say, you know that you have a better standard that you are looking for but you're setting for someone who doesn't offer any of it. Since you know this, best to end it now and hold out for what you want. You WILL find it. But you may have to be a bit patient. But my mom always said...good waiters get good tips.

    Don't be with someone for the wrong reasons.

    Answer by rio_burb at 8:25 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • just imagine the rest of ur life like that? i think u could be happier

    Answer by kimsmith22 at 9:36 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • It doesn't sound good. He's got a lot of marks against him. Filing bankruptcy? Wow, we are in a huge amount of debt AND we are trying to get our son (and soon our two younger sons) through college. It's not fun at all. It's reality. I have to look for work, etc. etc. If it were me, I would've been gone a long time ago.

    Answer by zboys at 10:19 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • No, you're not shallow for wanting a 50/50 relationship. You're normal.


    Answer by 1smartcookie at 10:47 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

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