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4 Bumps

Is anyone here familiar with the Progressive Christian Alliance?

My husband is trying to rediscover his spiritual connection to Christianity and draw our older daughter into it. When we married, he was not at all religious, but he was raised Baptist, with some Pagan influences from one of his grandmothers. I was raised Lutheran, but have lost any connection to religion because I just couldn't believe in it.  We have not practiced any religion in all the time we've been married.  Recently, though, he's felt that he needs to follow a path that involves some form of Christianity, although his beliefs are all over the place. 

I don't want to raise our children to believe in what I consider to be mythology.  It's not the same as perpetuating a belief in the Tooth Fairy or Santa Clause, as religious beliefs aren't supposed to be abandoned as we grow up.  I suggested the Unitarian Universalist as a compromise.  I'd be willing to go to church with them if he would consider it.  We have a UU across town.  It would be a bit of a drive on Sunday mornings, but in the interest of compromise, I'd be willing to sacrifice that time.

However, he sent me this link today, and told me that this is what he feels best fits his interests, and wonders if it would be a compromise that I'd consider.  To me, it's just another brand of Christianity, and still calls for a belief in a supernatural being--which is really where I draw the line.  There isn't a church of this sort in our area, so I'm not sure how he hopes to instill these beliefs in our daughter and give her the community of a church, but this is the direction he is considering now.

Is there anyone here who is familiar with this branch?  What are the differences between this and, say, Presbyterianism or other Protestant beliefs?  As far as I know, few Christian churches would deny any race from being a part of their community, which is one of the first points they discuss as part of their beliefs, so where is the difference?

And. . . more importantly, how do we breach this divide between him wanting to teach our older daughter to believe in the Trinity and my desire for her to let reason and facts guide her--to be more Humanistic?  What's wrong with tabling this until she is an adult and less inclined to let parental influence dictate her beliefs?

Answer Question

Asked by jsbenkert at 6:30 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Religious Debate

Level 37 (89,331 Credits)
Answers (49)
  • I have not heard of this branch but honestly if I were your husband I would NOT agree to UU either. But that is just me. I am a christian. I do not believe God is a myth in anyway.

    Did you discuss how you would raise your children as far as religion goes BEFORE you had children

    If so...what was the agreement...I think that would be the area to start in this discussion.

    Also how old is your daughter

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I see what you are saying, it sounds much like the church I attend, and it is a non-denominational church. I'll give you bump, maybe someone else will have more information for you.

    Answer by mommy_jules at 6:53 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I just looked at that wow....SO NOT my thing BUT maybe you should each visit a church the other chooses and see how you each feel afterwards.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I don't know anything about the PCA, but I think if I were in your shoes I would keep pushing for the UU church as a compromise between both of your beliefs. If he wants to teach your daughter Christian beliefs, he will find plenty of resources and assistance there.

    I agree that it doesn't really make sense that he would want to join a religion that doesn't have an actual congregation in your local area.

    Answer by Eek_a_Geek at 6:58 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • You are going to have to trust that your husband has her best interests at heart- not exposing her to religion is in effect only exposing her to your ideal not your husbands- there are many women on here that have changed their views with age-going to church did not change what they believed in their core-it either strengthened what their belief in God(s) or made them feel even stronger that there were none-
    I know several families where one parent is Jewish-one is Christian and they expose their children to both with the idea they can decide what works for them as adults-I am not sure why you equate exposure to belief- he can not force her to believe what she does not, church can not force you to believe- you just need to trust your husband and if you don't, well... that is a whole other issue-

    Answer by soyousay at 7:01 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Did you discuss how you would raise your children as far as religion goes BEFORE you had children

    We did discuss our beliefs, and we seemed to agree on them at the time.  There seemed to be no need for further discussion as neither of us practiced any religion.  How would that discussion have gone?  "Darling, I know that neither of us believes in Christianity or follows any religion, but if we should children someday, and one of us starts feeling religious, how shall we handle those 'what ifs'?"

    Also how old is your daughter

    She is ten.  We also have a seven-year old daughter who has autism, but he doesn't seem to think that she is in any need of spiritual guidance, since his god apparently gives children with developmental delays a free pass.



    Comment by jsbenkert (original poster) at 7:05 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Did you discuss how you would raise your children as far as religion goes BEFORE you had children

    LOL-that is silly-like people don't change- I can not tell you how many curve balls having kids has thrown at our marriage-

    Answer by soyousay at 7:10 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I'm not familiar with it, but I'm interested. From the little I've read I don't think its that bad. It seems like a very liberal, modern approach to Christianity (a perception I already have, lol, so of course I'm liking what I see), and from what I can tell, it doesn't seem to be too "churchy" in terms of doctrine/dogma/indoctrination/etc. I really liked this part :
    "Recognition and affirmation of the differing belief systems of others, whose faiths offer a way into relationship with God and call upon them to further God’s love and grace on the earth, is crucial."

    But this is something you and your husband need to discuss. We can't tell you what to do, you have to find middle ground yourselves. It doesn't seem that far off from a UU church, other than it seeming to be Christian specific. Perhaps you could visit both and compare?

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 7:11 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • (at least, I think I'm understanding that quote correctly - I could not be, though....)

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 7:13 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • We can't visit both. We don't have a PCA in our area.  I don't see much difference between the PCA and other less rigid denominations.

    We are discussing this, and I understand his point of view.  I just disagree very strongly with it--especially since this is a new development and one I don't think either of us foresaw.  I'm not asking anyone here to solve this for me.  That simply isn't wise or possible.  What I'm wondering is how do we find a middle ground when there doesn't seem to be one.  He believes in supernatural entities that deserve our worship, and I find the whole notion of deities to be illogical and superstitious.


    Comment by jsbenkert (original poster) at 7:20 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

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