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Questioning everything

Lately DD has been questioning everything we tell her to do or not do. Examples, at 9 am this morning she wanted to go to the neighbors. I said no. She asks why and I tell her not until the afternoon and DD asks why again. DH gets mad because she keeps asking why over and over again. Yesterday, she wanted to go outside with her dad, I say no cuz it was getting colder. She says but I'm just going out with dad and grabs her jacket. I had to say no again and that time I made her stand in the corner because I was irritated she thought I'd change my mind and tell me what she was "just going to do." We just moved in with my inlaws so maybe that has something to do with it. But now DH says every time she asks why she doesn't get what she wants and she gets to stand in the corner. Personally I don't mind that she asks why as long as she doesn't do it over and over again. When she does its irritating. Would you be mad over it? Dh seems to be more irritated than me. But I remember asking why a lot too!


Asked by SalemWitchChild at 6:31 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 23 (15,594 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think you should take a calm night when everything is fine and cool and sit down with dh and dd and go over the house Just patiently explain that a "No" does not need to include any explanation because it is non-negotiable. Then point out things in her life that ARE negotiable like her clothing, or choices for breakfast, just as examples. Let her know that your answer is often for reasons of safety, or other parenting reasons and you and dh do not feel she is being respectful by her repeated questioning.

    You might also come up with a method, she loses X when she questions the authority. Everyone should discuss this and she should agree to the consequences so the week can proceed. Do not bring up anything negative except this one point and try to list 3 positive things during the meeting that you are happy about in terms of her behavior.


    Answer by spottedpony at 7:08 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • No I dont get irritated when they ask why. I answer them. I think they all go through it. They just want guidance and to be "in the loop" basically.

    Answer by gemgem at 6:32 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • But even after you tell them why? And still trying to persuade you?

    Comment by SalemWitchChild (original poster) at 6:35 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Its her age and new circumstances. Stay strong and love her lots! Hubby too. *wink*

    Answer by ochsamom at 6:35 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • not if shes asking in curiosity and doesnt ask it over & over for the same thing or meaning disrespect. She can learn otherwise

    Answer by -lovingliam- at 6:36 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Oh yes. It really normal. She is probably just getting into her teen attitude early is all. She also is in a new environment so she is going to test the limits.

    Answer by gemgem at 6:36 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • My son does this all the time. I put up with it two or three times then I tell him something like "I already explained why. I think that you understand what I am saying, but you do not agree with my reasons." If that doesn't stop him, I tell him that this family is not a democracy, it is a benign dictatorship.

    Answer by DrRama at 7:18 PM on Mar. 27, 2011