Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Should we raise my sister's children or should we let them to go to people who can give them more than we can?

My sister has been deemed unable to look after her children, I don't particularly want to go into it... She's a waste of space... She has 6 ranging from 12 to 1. My husband and I have enough money to provide the essentials for them and lots of love and we don't want to uproot them from their family, friends and area. We have the space in our house for the girls to share one room and the boys another but should we let them go to a family who have more money and more space? I'm happy to take them, I love them as if they were my own, but my friends are telling the bare essentials aren't good enough for children and that love isn't everything. I'm scared they'll get split up if they go to others too. What's your opinion?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (25)
  • 6 children will almost certainly be split up. Tthe 12 yr old will be very difficult tto adopt out. That means foster homes or group homes and those are a nightmare in general. Can you live with yourself if you don't take them? Is your SO onboard? Those two questions will really give you your answer.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:58 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • sorry but they probbly will get split up not Meany people can take on 6 kids under adoptive standers


    thing is maybe you should think about keeping the 4 + kids and letting the under 4 go to be adopted as they wont really remember life before. its a really hard question . have the kids got any problems i have 2 step kids that where taken off there mum one been left with attachment disorder he ws 4 and so there older sister she not in our care she not my hubby . but its a lot of work if you end up with more than one kid with attachment disorder 1 kid with its hard work


    sorry but i wish i had better news

    feralkitten

    Answer by feralkitten at 6:58 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • That large of a sibling group.... Chances are high that they will either be split up(depending on what state they are in, some states try very hard not to split up siblings) or they will float around in foster care for years... If you love them and can provide for their needs, that is all they need, go for it!!
    TiffyTaffy79

    Answer by TiffyTaffy79 at 6:59 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • If you have the money for their basic essentials and the love for them, I would adopt them. You may want to look into grants for adoption or see if you qualify for help through the state. I strongly believe in keeping family together if at all possible. So what if they don't have designer clothes or many "extras". Love is more important than those things.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 7:00 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • My opinion is that they should stay in your family if you are able to provide love and care for them. And by care, I mean the basics, food, shelter, clothing and education. These children already have had and will have a rough road it appears, and a lot of issues with abandonment perhaps you can soften the blows by showing them that the rest of their family cares about them enough to keep them together. And if there are other family members besides this negligent mother, maybe they can offer some helping hands as well like supplies, or babysitting time. Pool all of your resources and help them out if possible. I really feel for you!
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 7:00 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • They will probablly get spilt. If you keep them, then they can stay with each other AND still be able to see the family..
    GraciesMommy464

    Answer by GraciesMommy464 at 7:00 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • If I had to make this choice, I would have to take them. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't.
    And I promise that love and family is a whole lot better than getting everything you want.
    PhoenixsMommy10

    Answer by PhoenixsMommy10 at 7:00 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • IMO: They will be a lot better off being able to stay together, live with family and have love and basic needs met than if they were split up and floating around in foster care.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 7:03 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Love is enough if you truly have it in your hearts. You will find a way. If you can at all have the patience, love, finances, and stamina (!) to do this they will be lucky kids!! I wish you all the best making this decision. God bless you both.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:06 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • don't get me wrong if you can care for them all do it but if you cant you may want to think about keeping the older one as the may not get adopted. also before you go jumping in head 1st you may want to learn  about attachment disorder and how to help them attach all foster parents and adoptive parents are told about it . maybe you be lucky i don't know the in and outs of your case but i seen it 1st hand


    if you want more info message me

    feralkitten

    Answer by feralkitten at 7:10 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN