Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think less of a woman who stays in an unhealthy relationship for the sake of her children?

Whatever the reason may be behind a woman staying in an unhealthy relationship do you think less of her for doing so? Say her DH is a terrible husband but a great father so she stays for her children. Or she's been a stay at home mom and doesn't have the resources to leave so she's stays. Or he cheated on her but she wants to keep her family together. How do you feel about her?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Nov. 27, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • It entirely depends on the reasons. I pity a woman regardless, whether she feels she can't make it on her own or she thinks her family is better off. I grew up in a home where my mother really should have walked out on my father, and didn't for the sake of her children. We would have been better off out of that environment. He was mentally abusive, and she was miserable.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:36 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • As a woman who has been in an abusive relationship, I wouldn't think less of you, but that your priorities are off. It doesn't (IMO) make you less of a woman or mother. And like you stated about him being a great father but not so great husband, doesn't make him any less of both himself. It just means that the two of you need to get things in order so that you can give them a healthy and stable environment they deserve. That you all deserve. Hope this helps some.


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:42 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • We can't judge another person unless we've walked in their shoes.

    Answer by MrsHart6 at 12:43 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • I don't think less of her, but it doesn't help the situation. That person doesn't realize how smart kids are and you might think he's a great dad and that the kids are happy but deep down they know there is tension and they know that the mom isn't happy and in return that makes very insecure children. The father could be just as good a dad if the parents are separated and when the parents are truely happy it makes happier children. I would suggest to that woman to get help, family, friends, start small if she has to by finding a stable job and then moving out on her own. Good luck to her! There is no reason anyone should be happy because they think they are keeping the family together just for the children.

    Answer by britni11 at 12:47 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • It's not really that I think less.... I just don't think that highly. I don't think any self respecting, self loving woman would belittle herself and subject herself to a bad relationship with a man and take it just for the sake of children. She would have to see the impact on HER and her KIDS. I think it's silly to stay with a dick head for the sake of the children. You can have a divorce and the kids can have a relationship with dad just fine!

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 1:15 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • Oooh, this is a tough one. Because I admit I don't have a lot of patience for women who don't know how to care for themselves without a man. My mother raised me to be independent and I firmly believe no woman should get married or have kids until she's learned how to stand on her own. That way she has options.

    I understand what our theoretical woman is going through and her reasoning...but I think her reasoning is off. The kids will NOT appreciate it.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:20 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • There are different degrees of unhealthy. I would never judge someone for staying in a relationship that ( I, myself ) think is unhealthy. My version may of unhealthy may be different than hers. There are many, many reasons why woman stay as well as why they leave and it's not my place to judge.

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 2:39 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • She is strong for staying in a bad marriage for sakes of the children, and she is weak to stay in a bad marriage afraid of uncertainity with the children's father.

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 8:54 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • I don't necessarily think less of that woman, but seriously, how can you make your children happy when you yourself are not happy. You have no right to bring your kids up in a household where there is no respect for each other. The dad can still be a good father when he has his kids. If you have tried everything to make it work and you are only in it for the kids, that is no excuse. Why would you want to cheat yourself out of "LOVE?" You may think your kids want you to be together, but they want happy parents who they can look up to. JMO

    Answer by abootie at 10:29 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • If her husband is a terrible husband, I don't believe he can be a great father. If he is treating the mother of his kids like crap - in front of them, that is not being a great father.

    Answer by sandra1023 at 11:56 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.