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DH won't communicate with me

My DH and I have been married for 3 years. He has 3 kids and i have 3 and we have very different views on parenting. It seems we disagree and argue over EVERYTHING. When I try to talk to him, it immediately leads to an arguement no matter how I choose my words. We've been to counseling and it helps for a very short time then we are back in the same boat. I think he is very selfish and really does not care about what is important to me. When issues arise, we will go several days w/o talking then the issue is just sept under the rug like it never happened. I don't usually bring it up again b/c it only leads to another argument.

I also know his kids do not like me b/c I am always the "bad" guy bringing up issues like chores and laundry. Any advice?

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Asked by momofMEG123 at 12:55 AM on Nov. 27, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (2)
  • As the step parent (right?) you can not enforce rules that your DH doesn't support. Instead of complaining about what the kids don't do, try telling him only the good things. If they don't do their chores, then just let the mess pile up, don't do it yourself. Your DH will get the point soon enough.

    Answer by Kimebs at 1:03 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • DH and I used to have conflicts like this over parenting, they got pretty nasty when our first one was younger and I pulled hubby into another room (where the kids weren't) and told him "if we disagree we go into another room and find a solution, but we stick together in front of the kids". After a while the kids stopped trying to play us off against each other. Basically I told him he had better have my back when I feel strongly about something (like chores) or he's welcome to move back home to his mom's. No problems since (17 years later). It's not like the kids are worked to death - DH and I had WAY more chores when we were growing up and if my kids want to be slobs, they're welcome to be that way under their own roofs when they grow up. Not in my house.

    Answer by plylerjones at 10:11 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

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