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Is anyone here, the primary caretaker of child that dh had with another woman while married to you because bm is in re-hab? What is she going to expect when she gets out. She is already upset that we have not made arrangements for visitation for her, (WAS NOT AWARE THAT WAS MY PROBLEM OR MY RESPONSIBILITY)

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Asked by BraenatsNeeNee at 9:23 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (167 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • The visitation is not your responsability but the child is. Seriously, your husband was screwing around and got another woman pregnant and you sound very hostile to an innocent child. The child didn't ask for a married man to be the daddy. Get it in check. Your anger should lie with your husband.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • She is her mother no matter what, when she gets out, she should see her child no matter what!

    Answer by JLS2388 at 9:40 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Boy did you take that way out of context. I am the only mother she knows and my fear is that she will be taken away when bm reappears. Dh has sole physical and legal custody, however, bm says she will get that changed when she gets out of re-hab. I certainly have NO anger toward this baby. I feel she is as much the victim as I was. And you are wrong, she is not my responsibility. However, she is innocent in all of this and I do what I do out of the goodness of my heart. I have had her full-time since she was 4 months old and feel like she is mine. Her bm has not seen her in 10 month and has only called 2 times to check on her.

    My only concern is how will bm getting out of re-hab going to affect the well being of this baby.

    You need to get in check..

    Comment by BraenatsNeeNee (original poster) at 9:49 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Chances are, she's not in her life now, she more than likely will not be in her life after she gets out of rehab. More often than not, I've witnessed people saying "I'm going to take that child away from you" (when they aren't the custodial parent), and it never happens.

    What is she in rehab for?

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 9:56 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • if dh already has sole physical and legal the only way he will lose it is if he doesnt show to any court dates, she has the burden of proof now, she has the burden of proving she even deserves to be in her kids life, let alone get any custody.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 10:01 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • im sorry but would be able to clarify what the situation is. i know you said youve had the baby since she was 4 months old. well how long have you been married to your husband? anyways not the real issue but i do want to say i understand what your saying. i think that since youve raised this baby for so long she must be like your own and who would want there child takin away. i would talk to your husband and consider legal adoption so this unfit mother from what it sounds like does not have the ability to take her from you, but i am definatly not saying that she shouldnt be able to see her child. just take the possibility of any more confusion and harm from coming to that baby. children needd the most stable and loving family possible and appartently this MOTHER can not give her what she needs.

    Answer by adriana1024 at 10:11 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • does the BM have any crimes against her in relation to this child , like a neglact charge or endangerment ?

    Answer by letstalk747 at 10:18 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Start documenting EVERYTHING now, so that you can prove that she doesn't call, send letters, etc. She may get visitation, but it will be VERY HARD for her to get custody from your DH if he has sole custody.

    PM me if you want a list of what we document for our custody issues.

    Answer by laird6372 at 5:38 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Since dna confirmed that sd was def dh, we pretty much had her 3-4 days a week. Which I found odd because she was only 2 months old when dh got home from Iraq and we were able to arrange dna testing (which bm called and asked for me to arrange, which I did. She insisted on paying half, which she did). Within 3 weeks of getting the results back, dh received a subpeona for a child support hearing. We arrived at the court house and while waiting for their case, a deputy walked up to bm and took her out of the court room. She came back in and sat down looking very upset. As soon as their case was thrown out, because she couldn't prove she had the baby more often than we did. We had a atttorney and witnesses, She came representing herself. As soon as we walked out of the courtroom, 2 deputies walked up to her, she handed me the baby, and said, "take her home with you, I will call you later and ex plain this mess.

    Comment by BraenatsNeeNee (original poster) at 6:19 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Come to find out she was on probation for a drug charge and had failed a drug test violating her probation.

    Comment by BraenatsNeeNee (original poster) at 10:01 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

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