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3 Bumps

I won in court

I have custody of my child and her dad has visitation every other Saturday.However, he is in the military and being deployed for probably 18 months. He was trying to get it that is wife got to continue visitation while he was gone because they have a child together. I don't think that is fair, why should MY child go to her care so that the children can spend time together? I offered in court that we could have the kids meet once a month at a playground to play. She argued this and then I said "ok, then your child can come to my house half the time and mine can go to yours the other half. In the end the judge ordered that we meet in a public place but why is it that she thinks that if the visits are for our kids, they need to be on her terms?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (28)
  • – collapse
    Sounds like you got what you wanted so stop complaining ...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • ANON, I am not complaining, I am just wondering what could have possessed her to think that everything has to be on her terms

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:04 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • this is bullcrap , it should all be on your terms , she is really no part of this if you dont want her to be , your ex has supervision not her , you dont have to do it at all.

    Answer by letstalk747 at 10:05 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I think it was so that your child could get to know their sibling. 18 months is a long time - 2 Saturdays a month is not a lot of time. Pretty much I think your in a way trying to take away your child's sibling and that's wrong.
    She doesn't need to sleep over and spend the weekend, but spending some time isn't going to kill your child. If you're child is use to going there and spending time with them whats the problem.
    Unless this women is abusive or mean to your child in anyway or hurts her then I don't see why not letting her go. I'd want my child to get to know their sibling.

    Answer by Jessica45 at 10:11 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I have to agree with Jessica. I get you may not like your ex or his wife, but their child is still your child's sibling. How would you feel if it were a reverse situation, and you had a child with a DH, and your ex had custody, and refused to let your DH have your daughter to see her sibling? Honestly...Your daughter has a RIGHT to a bond with her other sibling. It is TWO DAYS a month. It's not like she's trying to have joint custody with you... My DH is military, and this is one of the things we fear. We have 3 bios together, and his ex wife would refuse to allow our children to visit each other if he was ever deployed, and that is just cruel to ALL of the children involved.

    Answer by laird6372 at 10:28 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Jessica45, she is seeing her sibling as much as she always has since she only sees her dad every other saturday. Why should I have to hand my child over to her but she doesn't have to do the same? This was neither of us have to do that and the children get to see each other

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:28 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Laird, please read my post to jessica. And btw, the woman is never alone with my child and I am not comfortable with it as I didn't have a baby WITH HER

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:30 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Just remember that the are sisters.... they deserve to be apart of eachothers life. However you all have to figure it out. Maybe one wkend she can drop her dd over to your house and pick her up and the next YOU can drop yours off to her and pick her up. eventually (in time) you all will be able to work it out. but to do it on HER TERMS ONLY..... uhhhhhhh NOPE.

    Answer by kkbird at 10:32 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • um..why can't you allow some sibling time? do you not understand how important that is to a child?

    Answer by jujubean1979200 at 10:41 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • I have to say, I definately get your point. If I were in your situation, I have a DD and her father has a new child with his gf, I wouldn't want my DD going over there without her father. Mostly because I know my DD is NOT treated well by her now, can't imagine if he weren't there. I would however want DD to spend time with grandparents and her brother. I think the compromise you have is great. As for your question, let it go because you will never understand some people.

    Answer by camiam81 at 11:09 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

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