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Too much responsiblity?

Lately it seems like I can't get any of my kids to help at all around the house. They are 10, 7, 5, and 4...all of which are old enough and perfectly capable of at LEAST picking up after themselves, right?

I ask of the oldest (and really all of them) to put their dishes in the dishwasher when they've completed their meal, and that the oldest put any extra dishes (aka items that was needed to make the meal) into the dishwasher. Anything that needs to be hand washed, I or Daddy does it. When dishwasher is full, run it. When its done, put dishes away.

She has also been asked to, after dinner, sweep the kitchen floor. Its not that big. And to wipe down the table (little ones can help with that too). The boy (7) has been asked to take trash out. ALL trash, not just the trash in the kitchen (we have 2 bathrooms which the trash needs to be periodically taken out).

Oh, and one other thing...put shoes where the shoes go, and hang up coats/backpacks. The two youngest are too short, so I ask that they at least get their coats/backpacks over near the rack, instead of in the middle of my kitchen floor.

As to my dilemma...it seems like I'm having to constantly badger them in order to get them to do these simple (?) tasks. I've tried everything from rewarding them when they actual do these tasks w/o being asked to punishing them by taking away video games/fun times for not doing them.

Oh, and the oldest has been asking for MORE responsibility (like she does what she's already been asked to do?).

Am I just expecting too much from them? If so, what do you think would be more age appropriate for them?

Also, the two youngest are charged with keeping their room clean, along with the older two (3 rooms total).

 
hopeandglory53

Asked by hopeandglory53 at 11:21 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 33 (57,941 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Having to remind them (badger them) to do their chores is your 'chore' now. You are training them to be responsible adults who can take care of their own living spaces. The reminding should decrease as they grow older, but it will always be there at some level. If you think about it, don't you have to remind yourself to do the things you don't want to do?

    You are doing a good job. :) Be patient with them, and be patient with yourself.
    May-20

    Answer by May-20 at 8:02 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • seems like ur doing a good job. Just make the punishment harsher each time they do not do a task. This involves more work (follow through on ur end) for you and the father. Like if dishes are not done she has to wash out the trash can...so on and so forth. Also switch up the chores like one week ur on dishes next ur on this or that.
    Jazmineamomma

    Answer by Jazmineamomma at 11:39 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Making a chart helps you canbuy some poster board at the dollar store and make one you can put stars and purchase some inexpensive toys or have a reward night like a movie night something fun. You can also make chores fun almost like a game for the younger ones. I have six children three of each. They each each have a different chore everday by taking turns the chart helps them keeptrack. They have to have them done before they are allowed to watch tv or play video games. They are all older now and still have a chart. They help with dishes fold clothes trash vacuum dust etc. Unfortunately you are in charge of making it happen. It does however breed good habits for when they become adults. So you can do it, moms have a hard job, but look at the long term payoff.
    ice05

    Answer by ice05 at 2:24 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • My kids have way more chores than that, even my 5yo. I still have to pester them most days to do it. No one likes doing chores...except maybe my 8yo. She volunteers to do stuff and when she is done she asks if there is more to do, lol. When I got up this morning she was coordinating a cleaning spree, directing her 5yo sister on what to clean up so that the living room and kitchen were both clean. It was cute. She had all the dishes in the sink and was wiping down the counter. She asked what else she could do so I told her to empty the dishwasher which she did.
    My kids are 10, 9, 8 and 5 and clean up any mess they make in any room. Help clean up from meals, sweep, take out the trash, carry groceries, help with their baby brother, fold and put away their clean clothes. The older 3 also know how to wash and dry their clothes.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:48 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • My 10 year old is sometimes like your 8 year old. Some days she gets in a huge mood to clean...guess she gets that from me. Some days I'll get hit with the cleaning wand, while other days I'd just as soon hide out in my bedroom as think of chores, LOL.

    Alright, so it sounds like my kids are typical in that they still need a push to do their chores. Thank you!
    hopeandglory53

    Comment by hopeandglory53 (original poster) at 12:37 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • different parents have different techniques. i make my daughter help clean her room but i really don't think children should have to clean. they only get to be kids for so long. after that, they have to constantly worry about all the responsibility that life demands.
    TiffanieK

    Answer by TiffanieK at 3:37 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I agree with May-20. You have to remind them because they are kids! lol I even have to remind DH sometimes to do the things that he doesn't like to do. I know with my kids, who are 8, 6, 4, and 2, we have to remind them a good bit what they are supposed to be doing. Hopefully it will get less as they get older!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:08 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

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