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My son is an adult with 4 kids. He wants to move back in with me after his divorce.

I would be responsible for keeping his kids when he has them. Is it selfish for me to say no.
I have raised my kids and have a life of my own after my own painful divorce. I have just now begun to get on a good standing mentally.l I am in my 60's and don't think I could handle this . Am I wrong to say no.


Asked by chantilly688 at 11:28 PM on Mar. 27, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 4 (44 Credits)
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Answers (6)
  • I say absolutely not! If your son is an adult, he needs to be an adult and take resposibility for his own children. It is one thing if you watch them sometimes to help him out, but it's another to live under your roof and have you take responsibility for them.

    Answer by Namaste17 at 11:35 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • No. You are not wrong. He needs to be responsible for his children and you can support him by encouraging him where he's doing well and counseling him in areas in which he could do better. To enable him to continue to ditch responsibility would be wrong. I hope it all works out for you all.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:32 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Tell him you couldn't handle it. Why would you be responsible? If you want to help him out tell him that he could move in but needs to have a sitter to take the kids if he can't watch them. He is the one responsible for them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • It is a hard decision. Y does he want to come home? He can't afford it by himself?

    Answer by dancer at 11:31 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • depends....
    If him and his children will be in forced to live in really bad living conditions then (IMO) its your job as a mother to help, with restrictions and limitations (3 months?) if he is just taking the easy way out and has other options then you shouldn't feel guilty for wanting your freedom. Was he there for you during your divorce?

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 11:38 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Before you decide, you should get it in writing exactly what he will be responsible for...child care, cleaning, food, extra utilities etc...tons of things, remember the wear & tear on your home alone, Also make sure he is responsible for any damages..etc..I have many friends who allowed it ,and one had over 3,000 of damages to her home. her daughter got " D" and had no where to go... all hell broke loose,of course her daughter has no money to fix the damages and she/granny, is disabled and lives on a limited income herself..and doesn't have it either..went through her savings for extra food, everything else her 3 grand kids now shes out of luck...and broke..and her house is trashed..She said, she would have been better off giving her Daughter extra cash to help her pay her rent and NOT allowed it ! Her grandchild 17,stole over 5,000 in belongings, some antiques, family items NOT replaceable, BAD Experience!

    Answer by JLP7819 at 12:00 AM on Mar. 28, 2011