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7 Bumps

Have you heard the story about the middle wife??? (very cute)

I got this in an email. I thought it was cute and wanted to share.

The 'Middle Wife' (by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher)

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement..
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
' My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall..)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands mimicking water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ' Middle Wife' comes along.


Asked by luvmygrlz at 8:00 AM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Just for Fun

Level 30 (42,250 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • when you start your day reading something like this
    i know i will have a wonderful day

    reminds me when my step daughter said room instead of womb
    i had to have c section
    since she called it room
    i said baby could not come out through the door, so the doctor was going to make a window for her to come out

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:28 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Thats hillarious ! I love that story !

    Answer by Wish2Be at 8:04 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • LOL that is hilarious! I'm so gonna repeat this to everyone lol.

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 8:04 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Thats cute

    Answer by gemgem at 8:06 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Too Cute!

    Answer by Kimedbs at 8:08 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • sidesplittinglaughter

    SO FUNNY :)


    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 8:12 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • That's too cute.

    Answer by mommy_jules at 8:13 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Would have had millions of hits on YouTube!!... Precious cute little story.

    Answer by meooma at 8:13 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • HA! Can I steal this to post in a couple of my groups, OP?

    Answer by charliebean at 8:16 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Lol! That would have been so funny to see!

    Answer by amber1330 at 8:37 AM on Mar. 28, 2011