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2 Bumps

What could he be thinking (or up to)?

finally got a court date in mail for child support
since letter of upcoming date
my childs father has called twice
friday(busy time) said he would call back in a few hours did not
sunday calls during her bath-said he would call back did not
friday he was able to ask if i had his library card? i said i would look, then said something abut our daughter, he said "oh yeah, how is she?"

i did bring up the court date, he said yes he got and he is going to talk to a local child support resourse, to see what they say, as he can not afford any money to support her. so i brought up that the only way i know how to not pay is to sign over his rights.-he was not pissed off at all or even surprised (like i would be if someone suggested this)

i am thinking child support court will basically take his income and do the math, thinking judge will not care that his harley is expensive, or he just bought a 55 inch flat screen tv. and IF he would say he wants to sign over rights, judge would see this as a dead beat father, not a man who can not afford support. (he makes 50 grand a year)

should i again bring up signing over rights as an option? i think judge would not allow as no other man to step in, but IF he would sign something like this, it may show judge that is a willing to sign over his child to save himself money

any idea what could be going through his mind

left 6 months ago
he saw her, Oct-a few hours, Nov-a few hours, dec-i went up there day and a half, nothing in jan, or feb-no phone call even, saw her few hours in march

since letter of court coming up, he has called a few times, but says-you sound busy, i will call back (like showing on phone record he called? but short time-like maybe i was not giving info or helpful on the other end??? maybe i am just paranoid???)

trying to calm mind about child support court thing coming up April 11

help, ideas?


Asked by fiatpax at 8:22 AM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • That is a father that don't care for his daughter. My sister went through the same with her ex hubby. He would call and see them for a couple hours a day then it was like the children didn't exsist. I think it might have to do with someone he may be seeing that you don't know about. Because my sisters ex did the same thing but his was do to the girl he was seeing. Come to find out he signed away his rights just for that girl. But expect that nothing will change his mind and that might be a good thing for her. The reason I say that is because my nephews are better off with out ther dad and they listen to their mom. To me they seem happier and respect their mother more.

    Answer by shelle21 at 9:02 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • send him a text. that will show proof. say something like "i thought you were gonna call back last night, what did you want?"

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:37 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • he could be trying to say he called to try to see if he could visit and you denied him the right to see his child. I wouldnt allow him to just sign over. you will need that money. ..and you will probably get a nice chunk for your child.

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:28 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • i do not think a judge would accept him signing over rights (what i have read, court only allows if another man is able to step in as father role)
    but he is not as smart, and may ask for this - then i think a judge would see him in a clear light- that he would be willing to "sell out his daughter to save money"

    and of course there are issues that will have to come up in court if he wants ANY alone time with her- long story..but not me being bitter, just me portecting daughter from his actions (therapist did say she would testify against him in court)

    i am thinking same thing-he is showing he called, and being a short conversation, he can say something like i am not allowing,
    i did write an email to him this am saying you called at busy time said you would call back but did not etc

    think i need to get some caller id (do not have) and make him leave message-which he never does-then i do not have to speak to him.

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 8:34 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • hopefully the judge will make him pay and order supervised visitations..which he will probably bail out on anyways... my son's dad has to pay and he doesnt get any visitation because he hasnt bothered taking me to court to get visitation so i just don't allow him to see him...besides that, he never has asked to see him.

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:42 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • no cell phone
    no caller id even on land line

    *yes, i do live in this century-i think-lol

    i did send him an email asking him what he wanted, and i said also, you called and it was busy, you said you would call back but did not, did you need anything besides knowing if i had your library card

    yes, he calls on friday and asks if i had his library card (costs a couple of bucks to get new one)
    but does not ask baout his daughter
    I had called him day she had ear infection and told him, weeks ago
    on friday when he called I said, she is better, doctor was right, i caught early, one day and she was better with rx

    he said "oh yeah, how is she?"
    "i was waiting for you to call and let me know"
    i said
    "i did call to tell you how she was"

    a$$hole! sorry...a bit of a vent there

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 8:43 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • oh and did you go through the state to do this? because where i live getting child support and establishing custody are two seperate issues. you may not be going to court for both if you went through the state.

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:46 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • If he will give up his rights as a father to save money, he does not deserve them anyway, but I have a ex like that luckly he will pay not on time but pays almost once a month, 4-5 yrs ago when we divorced he would only see the kids 1-2 times a month if that, but I was not going to push him taking them, he has just sued me for full custody did not get it but he is now that he is re married taking them 3 days a week every week and my atty told me since he started this 4 mths before it went to court he will get 50/50 judge in TN want parents to work together, I hope he decides to do what is best for his daughter be in her life or just stay out for good!

    Answer by jenn2bowman at 9:09 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Make sure you keep a calander and document everything he does good or bad! day time!!!!!!

    Answer by jenn2bowman at 9:13 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Don't mention giving up rights again unless you want him to. He can use that against you, tell the court it was your idea. Document everything. I don't mean the whole conversation, just date & time he called. Didn't ask about her or to talk to her, can't afford child support, motorcycle payments, big tv, etc. Has he given you any money at all? Go back as far as you can, in your memory. Put down approximate dates if you have to. Keep it simple, but keep it up. This will come in handy when you do go to court.

    Answer by Kimimale at 9:13 AM on Mar. 28, 2011