Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My 22months old boy is so rebelous. he wants to fight all the time and says "no" to everything...food, water, playing or even going to a walk...he just keeps saying no to everything. and fights when i force him to eat or something when he says no..if i force him he crys until he throws up...please help me recover my baby

Answer Question
 
DayalzMom

Asked by DayalzMom at 8:51 AM on Mar. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • probably from being told no so much. Do you recall chasing him around when he first started walking and getting into things saying "no, don't do this..no, don't do that." its what he remembers. you need to teach him loving, kind words. for example: if he is getting into the trash can. instead of saying .."no"..try saying.."lets please pick this up".. try saying please and thankyou and stuff like that in a real sweet tone 24/7..with EVERYTHING and maybe it will gradually bring him out of that. good luck.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:58 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • as for saying no to eating things, certain things could be making him sick, but I agree with shay1130 that this does sound a bit extreme even for a near two year old.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • also, you can't really force feed a kid
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:10 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Be firm and assertive when you're talking to him after he's done (or is doing) something he's not supposed to. However, there are other ways to go about it then just saying "No!" Try using phrases that help him feel like he's given a choice and that help him see why he's not supposed to. "Please get down off of the chair, you could hurt yourself if you fell." That gives toddlers and children the understanding of why instead of just being told "No". Now, at the toddler age children tend to use the word "No" for everything when they learn what it means. This doesn't mean they actually mean it, but they're trying to assert their dominance. The tantrums may come from him trying to express something to you, but he doesn't know how, so he uses the word that he knows best. Try talking with him and get him to use more of his words to express what he wants. If he has a tantrum just say "When you calm down we'll talk about this again."
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:10 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I don't think it's extreme at all. My 3 year old doesn't say no all the time, but some days, like yesterday, he said no to EVERYTHING! Not mean like, just no. Except to food...LOL. 2 year olds say no....and I don't think they every stop.

    If he says no to food, then don't force him to eat. Sooner or later, he'll get hungry and he'll eat...just remember not to let him snack on unhealthy food. Does he have a favorite fruit? Then have that down and ready for him.

    You have to tell your child no..."No, do not hit." "No, we do not throw food". If he yells no at you, tell him "You have the right to say no, but not to yell at Mama". Next time he tells you no, ask him why? Sometimes they say no just cause they like to say no. If you ask him to pick up toys and he says no, tell him, I know you don't want to, but if Mama picks them up, they go bye-bye. Also give him lots of postive feedback. Good Luck!
    SouthernMama08

    Answer by SouthernMama08 at 9:11 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Then when he calms down go at the subject again in a calm manner. Trying to reason with a screaming toddler is like trying to convience a hungry/angry bear not to attack you. Helping them build their communication skills and vocabulary is important, so talk to him like you would an older child and not like you would an infant. This will greatly help them build confidence and better your chances of communicating better with him.

    As well, try time outs for punishment. Be consistant, follow through, and don't give up.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:17 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Give him as many choices as you can. Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt, for example. That way he has some control over the situation. It is key to stay calm. All kids go through this stage. Heap praise on him when he does things right and don't forget the hugs and kisses. You might want to look at some resources for dealing with the terrible twos. You can Google it and browse some books in a good bookstore. It does get better.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 9:21 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Thanks for your support everyone. He was never been like this...he is a boy who will play by himself, and wont disturb. Maybe you guys are correct...maybe "no" is one of the words he is so familiar with that he uses it all the time. i will try that encouraging phrases and try to talk to him alot...maybe he will learn other words rather than "no"...what worries me most it that he says no to food...he's favourites too.. he isnt sick...he is teething...but i give him purreed foods...no proper solids. if i give him solids, he throws up...even if i give him rice. i am just so worried and confused. his fighting and rebeliousness and everything is making me scared. no to bathing no to playing no to everything....i just dont understand. let me try encouraging him...thats one thing i havnt tried.
    DayalzMom

    Comment by DayalzMom (original poster) at 3:22 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Have you asked his pediatrician about throwing up if he eats solids? You might want to look into that.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:07 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • i will talk to him paediatric
    DayalzMom

    Comment by DayalzMom (original poster) at 8:02 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN