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2 Bumps

Making myself crazy.

Okay so hubby went out the other night with some friends. I took him (that way he would not drive after drinking) and around 12 i call him and ask if hes ready to come home because i was super tierd. He said in a half hour. So i go pick him up and hes drunk (of course) so hes rambling on about his night. He told me how he ran into a girl he was best friends with from elementry to highschool then they lost touch (this part did not bother me). He goes on telling me how they spent the whole night talking and that he just feels like he can tell her anything and how great it was talking to her. And that she was looking really good then showed me a pic of her. (now this botherd me alittle, not like i thought anything sexual, but just that he said he could open up to her so well and i dont always feel he can do this with me) then he spent half the night after we got home texting her. So the next morning i looked through his phone (yes i know this is wrong, i just really wanted to know what kind of things he could open up to her about, again i did not think anything sexual) but he had erased all the texts between them. So i am driving myself crazy as to why he would have any reason to delete these. (is it because he is cheating, i just dont know i even asked him and he said i was crazy and blamed it on my hormones {i am 33 weeks pregnant}) i dont know what to do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I would have been the same way! Why delete them? You could either make a fuss, or say you know, i was crazy its hormones then when he feels more relaxed he will forget to delete and you can check it another night. I also as a last resort i think through the phone company you can get all texts from any phone, my brother does this with my niece. I would hope it wouldn't come to that, but it doesn't make sense why he felt the need to delete them if they were innocent??
    JenzAmomOf2

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 9:28 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • If he doesn't normally erase messages right away, he's acting guilty by erasing the messages. People have a tendency to open up to strangers or "long lost friends" easier than they can ones they are around all the time, even best friends. My mother used to do that. But, yours acts like he has something to hide. I would watch and listen, see what he does from here. If the nights out increase, there is a reason to worry. If he's the same guy he was last week, no worry.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 9:32 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Red flags. He's opening up to someone else, other than his wife. That's called intimacy. Doesn't have to be sexual. It's not like he said goodbye to her at the bar, it was nice running into you, have a good life - he continued on after he left, which means he's probably going to text again. He connected with her - he's not just going to say, oh, that was great, glad that happened, moving on. So now he's going to share his inner most feelings with someone else and you're supposed to be okay with that. No way, no how. Stop this freight train before it's builds steam.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 9:39 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I'd be very upset as well. I would quietly, but sternly remind him this is completely NOT OK. He was the one to make it look shady and you expect better of him. Good Luck
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 9:41 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I would not be ok with that. And I agree with all the above. I know it will be hard sweetie, but try your best not to stress so much. It is not good for the baby. GL
    sunsetbeach81

    Answer by sunsetbeach81 at 9:52 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I would be thinking the same thing. It does seem a little fishy...
    jspenny2705

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 10:25 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • 'why delete them?' because he probably knew you were going to look at them. Some people married or not still like to have some privacy.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I wouldn't have looked at his phone. You'll know soon enough if he is connecting with her on a regular basis, so until then try not to worry. (it is so easy to say that!....sorry I know how hard it will be, just do the best you can and wait until you are more certain he is still emotionally connecting to her....Honestly Good Luck to you!)
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 11:11 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I feel the same way because my husband had more girl friends than he had guy friends. Every time we did something or we had great news to share the first person he would call or text was the girl he was friends with in college and it kinda bugged me a little. I was jealous it was just annoying that he could tell her things that he couldnt tell me. But i explained that it bugged me and now he talks to me more instead of her.
    shelle21

    Answer by shelle21 at 12:32 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • that is just wrong and I would be upset also
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 8:56 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

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