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Are you adopted? Have one parent who isnt your birth parent?

If so - did you want to know your birthparents and if so why? Or did you not care? If so why didnt you care?

Why do you think some people care and some people dont?

Do you think people want to know their birthmother more than their birthfather?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:47 AM on Nov. 27, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I stepdad isn't my real dad. But he addopted me o my 13 birthday. The other guy who was in my life wasn't my real father. I thought about going to fund my birthfather but then he has't been around this long why woudl I bring him in my life now. My step dad has been more that a father than he could be. he chose not to be part of me then that's fine. I'm not trying to sound liek a bitch but tha'ts hwo i see it.

    Answer by MadeylnsMom at 9:20 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • My biological father lives two cities over from me and I have never met him. My step father raised me since I was 4 so I was never interested in knowing my bio father. Now that my step father has passed away and I'm not close to my mother sometimes I get this itch to reach out to my bio father. I think it's because I hope for some kind of relationship with him but if I'm truly honest with myself how special can the relationship be considering I'm 24 years old and not one time has he tried to contact me. I think the real reason I don't contact him is because I'm scared of being rejected.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • I am adopted and I would LIKE to know my birth parents, but the way I look at it is they gave me this beautiful gift of life, it must have been such a difficult decision and who am I to come barging into their life now? I am on national registries so if they are looking for me, they should be able to find me. What if they are married with other children and that family knows nothing about me? I wouldn't want to reopen old wounds and destroy their new life.

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 9:34 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • I am adopted and when i was younger wanted to know who they were. I knew they were only 17 when they had us. My twin sis lives with my aunt. When my sis was 18 she found our birth parents but I did not go to see them with her. A few years later I finally had contact with my birh mother and our other brothers and sisters. To me it was the biggest mistake of my life. I would of rather not know somethings I know. Plus the way these people act is just not how I live my life. But I am glad I got to see what she looked like. After I did not really talk to her anymore and she made a lot of problems for me. In my eyes it was a mistake. But that is probably just because these people have a lot of issues.
    I think some people believe the parents who raised them are all they need so they dont bother finding their birth families. I know i would never trade my mom and dad who raised me. They ARE my parents and love them very much!!!


    Answer by myangel21 at 10:38 AM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • Forgive me for answering b/c I am not adopted, but my son is. He doesn't really have a choice in that he will always know who his birthmother is. We have ongoing contact with her. I do feel that he does have a choice to continue that relationship in the future or not. I hope they can. But I do want to say thank you to those who are adults that were adopted as children and post that they have good relationships with their adoptive families. I have recently been reading a backlash of negative predictions on what the adoptive family relationship will look like when that child is older. It scares the crap out of me! I hope that my child is able to know and love (whatever way he is most comfortable) both sides of his family - biological and adoptive.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:18 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • I have a very unusual situation (at least here on Cafemom). I legally adopted my daughter. My ex is a woman who gave birth to her and her father was an anonomous sperm donor. My daughter is 12 and knows the truth about her origins. We are members on the and recently found another family whose daughter was conceived with the same donor as my daughter. They are half siblings and we intend to meet soon. She is an only child and so is my daughter. So to have a sister now is a wonderful gift for both of them. We are very excited to meet and find if there are any similarities that provide to the mystery of their father.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 5:40 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

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