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4 Bumps

A little annoyed.

I met this other mom awhile ago and we started hanging out and then all of a sudden we would make plans and then she would call and say something came up, or she would say she was going to come over and then just never show and not even call me to tell me that she was not coming. I understand that people have things to do and life is never predictable but I mean this is happening all the time.
I know a lot of this might have to do with her husband (who I do really know but does seem controlling from what I hear) and I know that I should not be annoyed but I am and I am also disappointed because she seems like she would be a really good friend.
Anyone else have this problem and how do I not take it to heart?

 
jnb71584

Asked by jnb71584 at 11:00 AM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,349 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Reason #512 of why I do not have any friends...I got tired of that crap and just stopped contacting :/

    Sorry :(
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 11:03 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • It doesn't sound as though you can count on her. So set up playdates or lunch get-togethers and don't be surprised if she doesn't show. It could be her husband making her not come. or it could be some other problem.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:05 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • She sounds like she just wants to relax at home or her husband might be up her butt over going out. Don't take it personally...It happens all the time. You'll find other friends. GL.
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 11:12 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • did the same thing. i went to go see this woman i met on here at her work place and then i invited her to my child's bday parties and understood she couldnt come at first then called her to see if she wanted to go out and she never picked up and still ignored me EVEN though she said she'd do things with me.

    its sad...i dont have to remain anon cause she even deleted me from my friends on here and then deleted me once on FB till i confronted her about it. I'm not even sure what i did so wrong.

    Best way is to act like she never became your friend in the first place. Friends will hang onto you if you mean something to them, dont look for approval in these kinds of people, they arent meant to be in your life
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 11:11 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • How about talking to her about this? One wouldn't have to be confrontational or anything unpleasant, just have a chat about why this is happening, maybe she has something going on in her life that she could use an ear for. I understand that it's not your problem and that what she's done is annoying, but in your place, I would want to reach out one time, just in case there's something I could do to be a good friend myself. Sometimes, people just need someone, anyone, to notice that something's wrong and take an interest in order for them to affect positive personal change.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:26 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I'd quit contacting her. I had a friend (am using that word very loosely here) who no matter what we talked about getting together to do she always was too busy when it was time to do it. I haven't talked to her in years unless we see each other in Walmart and then she has the nerve to say......"we should get together real soon"..... yeah, that's going to happen, I just ignore her and move on.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 12:00 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I have anxiety & stomach problems that go along with that anxiety.. so i AM "that friend".. We will make plans & if my anxiety goes up that day i usually cancel.. Do i say Im having issue.. Nope, infact alot of people dont even know about it so i make a general excuse of not feeling well or something has came up...
    Have you ever tried calling her last minute to do something? Sometimes planning doesnt work. but doing something on a whim usually works for me. It kinda tricks my anxiety. lol.
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 12:36 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • i dont because i dont have any friends
    BUTTERFLY463

    Answer by BUTTERFLY463 at 3:48 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I had the same thing happen to me I found a childhood friend on Facebook and we started talking and everything was OK in the beginning she would contact me every day and talk to me, then all of a sudden she wouldn't answer my emails, phone calls or anything so I know how you feel; it is disheartening and upsetting when you think you have someone you can count on and then they back out all the time.

    I am not that way and don't treat people that way so I don't understand why I am being treated this way either. All I can say is don't give up and you will find a good friend that won't do this to you. I'm not sure if I would contact her for awhile though either if she has backed out on so many occasions.
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 8:49 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I have a friend like that so whenever she invites me I tell her I have other things to do. I think two can play that game. We have been friends for a long time and she was suppose to help me at my daughters first bday party and she never showed up. So I know how you feel in a way. She would call me and make plans then back out of them a couple days later.
    shelle21

    Answer by shelle21 at 8:48 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

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