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2 Bumps

How do you get your husband to understand taking care of a child is also work?

My husband doesn't understand that I need to have a break every once in a while because he thinks that I dont do anything. I take care of our daughter, clean the house, cook, school , and do the laundry. I just don't know how to make him understand that taking care of all these things is stressful as much as being at work. I just want to understand what I go through every day.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • He'll understand when he does what you do.

    As for how she should step back and realize how lucky she is, she is at work 24 hours a day and he is not. He gets to clock out. He comes home to a clean house, and a child who is taken care of so it could probably be argued who works harder or at the very least longer. To be honest a man saying to his wife that she does nothing when she spends all day taking care of the house and kids is extremely insulting. The only thing worse is someone saying step back and see how lucky you are that you get the luxury of staying home so you can get insulted by being told you do nothing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • take a trip to see family without him if they live close.. take a girls weekend and let him do everything you do and see how he likes it!

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 11:51 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Leave the kids with him for 24 hours without a break.

    Answer by gemgem at 11:53 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • The trouble w/ the weekend trips is that you'll just have a big mess wating for you when you get back! He has to see what it's like to get them up & ready for school, fight the school traffic & then come home to take care of the rest, b/c no one else will be doing it! So unless you can play sick for a day or 2, so he can get a real taste of it, take the weekend anyway to get away & re-engergize- you'll need it for when you get back! - GL :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:57 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Wow, the more I read these kinds of posts the more I truly love my husband. He just got a new job, it's heavy, dirty nasty work. And when he comes home he showers and takes the kid because he says he thinks I work harder than he does and I need a break for a while. BUT, my husband has ALWAYS been a caretaker of the kids since they were born, because I went back to work when my oldest was a baby. I say, if your husband isn't getting it, maybe he needs to see what you do for a while! Challenge him - men love challenges! - Make up a "too do" list of all the things that you normally do in a day and bet him that he can't do them as well and as quickly as you do. Then leave him to it and go out shopping... When he looses tell him since you win you want a little respect for all that you do!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:58 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I dont think they ever understand it until we open their eyes. My thing was all of that and then cutting grass, trimming the bushes.... all I asked him to do was weed eat. Guess how he did that.??? He went out and bought me my own weed eater that wasn't too heavy. LOL... I am serious.
    So since we don't do "anything all day" take a day for yourself, heck or 2. maybe 3. don't clean, do laundry, cook, etc. when he asked what happened say.... well since I do nothing all day I looked that word up on line and decided to try doing...NOTHING for once. and guess what... I kind of like it honey, then ask him to run back out to get fast food for dinner. LOL

    Answer by kkbird at 12:00 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Maybe you both should spend a day in each others shoes. I have done that with my husband I spent a day at his office with him and watched what he did all day it was exhausting. He spent a day being me and failed miserable. We both realized we liked what we did and had a new found respect what each other did for our family. He does things to make my life easier and I do things to make his life easier.


    Answer by FricknFrack at 12:03 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Taking a trip may work but men do not have the same level of comitment to housework as we do. I am going thru the same thing at my house.


    Answer by Graciesmom528 at 11:55 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • My husband up and realized just how hard I had it when my grandma passed away, and I was gone for a week. He had total new respect for me when I got home.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 11:59 AM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I didn't have to convince mine- he thinks my 'job' is harder than his! lol I'd sit him down and talk to him about it. Tell him that you feel like he is demeaning your role as a stay at home mom by assuming that you don't do anything. OR you could go on strike for a week and see how he likes wearing dirty clothes or washing his own dishes or cooking his own meals, but I don't recommend this because it's a bit on the childish side.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 11:59 AM on Mar. 28, 2011