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2 Bumps

Is it ok to lie?

ok so my bf finally got a new job with great hrs and better pay after a month of looking.

Let's just say he drinks beer every night of the week, he does not get drunk and if he does it's on a very rare occasion.............well he has worked all week this week and got in to late that he had no beer at all this week after work :) but last night he made up for it so this morning I woke up and he was still there, he told me the boss had called and one of the work trucks was down and he would call him later, well it just did not sound right so about 10 am I text him to see if he has heard anything and he text back saying they were off today because of the truck.
Well I checked my att account and he never got a call and the only call was from him to his boss this morning at 5:20 he called in because he drank to much. Of course he told him he was sick I'm sure.
That so pisses me off, he lied and when asked he said he lied cause if he told me the truth I would be pissed....whats that suppose to mean, I'm more pissed cause he lied. There is nothing more than anything that I hate than a liar. To top it all off he did not come back to bed so I went to see if he was ok and he got pissed at me for asking...........well that makes since now he wanted me to go back to bed so he could call his boss and not get caught. It's like being with a little kid.

So do I just forget it happened? I don't want him to lose his job my god took him a month to find it and he just started last Monday and he wonders why I would be pissed if he was sick it would have been different but because you drank, you play you pay.

I just wanna kill him for lying what do I do?


Asked by buttonlts at 12:13 PM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,115 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Sorry if I came off as harsh. I didn't mean to. I just feel a lot of what you're saying because I live with it day in and day out. I'm trying to finish my education so if the worst happens, me and my kids can go on.

    You're absolutely right. You cannot make him stop drinking. Only he can do that. I can say that you have to decide if this is what you want. It obviously bothers you that he lied, you might even be bothered by the drinking. I assume it does because you mentioned he drinks every night. Since he is still doing this at his age and he is living with you, it would bother me. Honestly, I just don't think you should let it go if it bothers you and it seems that it does. From what you wrote, it sounds like you have a lot going for you and it seems like he can only bring you down but only you can determine if you want to do this any more or cut your losses and move on down the road.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Sounds to me like you have a bigger problem than him lying...if he drinks every night, regardless of if he's getting drunk, that's some pretty alcoholic-like behavior, ESPECIALLY if he's going to call in sick to work w/on his first couple wks of a new job b/c of it. It shows his complete lack of responsibility- and the lying?? Shows his immaturity and lack of concern for his job. If I was you I would have a serious talk w/ him and try to get him help-- and the fact you didn't trust him and went as far as to check the incoming calls show you must not trust him enough. Good luck w/ it all- the last thing I would do is let it go.

    Answer by lexi8622 at 12:59 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • It's easy to tell who doesn't deal with liars and drinkers and who is an enabler here.

    OP - I deal with a lot of what you posted, for now anyway, and I can tell you that forgetting it and acting like it's okay and telling him you trust him but to tell you the truth is a big mistake. He's not going to tell you the truth even though you tell him if he does that there won't be trouble. It's just not going to happen. Adults don't lie or call into work because they are hungover. Period. It's not funny or cute when a man does this. And if he is drinking nightly, it's called alcoholism regardless of the fact that he keeps a job or whether or not he gets drunk when he drinks. You didn't mention if you are thinking of marrying this man or if you have children together but I would strongly urge you, based on personal experience, think long and hard about this relationship. You don't want to be married when it gets worse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Forget it but tell your bf politely how much you would cherish if he speaks the truth to you......

    Answer by AnuMeha at 12:18 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • welcome to the vicious circle of mens bullshit , immaturity and self centered ness , you probly already know it.

    Answer by letstalk747 at 12:19 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I'm confused?? when at 10am you texted him where u at work or at home with him?? IS this drinking been a problem for his previous job too. Cause they will only put up with so many call outs before he is fired from this one.

    Answer by kkbird at 12:20 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • i would have said this

    "I'm more pissed that you lied, than the fact that you're too hung over to go to work. Next time, why don't you try being honest with me. It's not like you're a child who's going to get in trouble by your mom. I'm your wife & friend, not your mother."

    My husband has called in sick because he was hung over before. I find it, and get glad if he stays home with me for a day. Of course this has only happened a few times in the 6 years he's worked there. Everyone gets a chance to call in sick now & then, i don't think it's a big deal unless it becomes regular.

    Let him know he can trust you & that you're not going to flip if he happens to be too hung over for work. if it happens all the time, i would get pissed. But, sometimes you just have fun & next thing you know.....once in a blue moon is no big deal to me.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:23 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I agree. I'm all the time telling my children that it is much worse to lie to me than to tell me the truth and take that punishment. It is far less than what they get if they lie to me and I find out the truth later because then its DOUBLE punishment, and the punishment for lying is MUCH WORSE than the deed that was done/not done.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 12:32 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Simply put - NO. It's NEVER okay to lie! Now, you can be honest without being "in your face" about things, but it's NEVER okay to lie.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:33 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Its never ok to lie. Please open your eyes and see what you're getting yourself into. If he lied to you about something as simple as going to work, can you imagine what else he may have lied about? Well, you probably already know that answer because curiosity had you going through his calls to see if he told the truth. With that being yourself a favor and save yourself the heartache of being with someone you cannot trust, and move forward with your life...#wisdom...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:54 PM on Mar. 28, 2011