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3 Bumps

PROBLEMS WITH MOTHER IN LAW

MY MOTHER IN LAW IS RALLY CRAZY AND WERIED. SHE LEAVE FAR AWAY FROM HERE WHICH IS GOOD. MY HUSBANED SAID HE WENT AWAY FROM HER FOR SO MANEY REASONS. AND HE SAID SHE DID ALOT BAD THINGS TO HIM.
NOW WHEN SHE CALLS I DID'T ANSWER HER BECUSE SHE WANTED TO CALL ME EVERDAY AND WHEN SHE CALL SHE WILL TELL ME THE SAME THING SHE TOLD ME YESERDAY AND BEFORE YESERDAY AND BEFORE.... I SWEAR SHE WILL SAY THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER. AND SHE WILL TALKE AND TALKE AND KEEP TALKING LIKE SHE IS TALKING TO HER SELF ON THE PHONE. SHE WILL KEEP TALKING FOR 2 AHOURS. EVERYDAY. I DONT REALLY CARE ABOOUT THE BAD THINGS SHE IS SAYING ABOUT ME I JUST ANSWER HER WHEN SHE CALL,,, BUT WHAT I CANT HANDLE IS THE 2 AHOURS HOLDING THE PHONE EVERY DAY AND HERING HER SAYING THE SAME THINGS. I AM TO SHY TO TELL HER I GOT TO GO. IF I TOLD HER I GOT TO GO,, SHE WILL BE UPSEST IF I TELL HER EVERYDAY.. IT JUST FEELS BAD IF I TELL HER EVERYDAY I GOT TO GO... SO ALL I DID IS,, I JUST DID NOT ANSWER HER CALLS. I KNOW THAT IS BAD.
BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE.
AND NOW SHE HAVE NO CONCTION WITH HER SON KIDES?
IS THAT BECUSE OF ME? DO I AM WRONGE?

Answer Question
 
lelly1019

Asked by lelly1019 at 1:54 PM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (823 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • your not wrong and you dont have to entertain her everyday by talking to her. Your hubby needs to either chat w/ his mom about her calling , not wanting to have anything to do with him or his kids when she gets mad. Or just stop worrying about her all together. No where in the marriage does it say I promise to be your mother's best friend or bashing bag and act like things are ok.
    Just dont answer the phone and soon hopefully she'll stop calling.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 2:08 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • SHE ALLREADY STOPED CALLING ME BUT I KNOW SHE WILL BA BACK. BUT I AM AFRAID THAT I AM DOING BAD BECUSE NOW SHE WILL NOT HAVE ANY IDEA ABOUT HER SON KIDES.
    lelly1019

    Comment by lelly1019 (original poster) at 2:10 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • you do not have to talk to her everyday - she seems mentally off to say the least and if someone is nuts - you are doing a good think by keeping them as far away from your children as possible. i wouldnt take the calls either. you are not wrong. maybe too nice for not putting her in her place but not wrong by any means.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:11 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • She sounds way too needy. I mean, calling every day is a bit much in my opinion, but talking for 2 hours is totally overboard. By not answering her calls you are just avoiding the problem though. I think you just need to tell her that you don't have time to talk so long everyday. If she wants to call for a quick chat then be polite (even if she is repeating herself) but after ten minutes it's time to go. Just tell her you have to start dinner or the kids need you or whatever. Maybe she will have her feelings hurt but she has to understand that you have things to do. If she doesn't understand then that's her problem- you've done your part by talking to her for a few minutes and then you have to get on with your day. That's my two cents, but I guess if she just never takes the hint I would be tempted to avoid her calls, too.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:11 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I have quite the story about my BF mother..... She is crazy. Doesnt matter if you do what she wants, or ignore her, she finds something to fight about.
    Nickcole23

    Answer by Nickcole23 at 3:20 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Ignoring her is a really childish way of handling it. You need to sit her down and explain that you don't have time to sit on the phone for hours at a time or that you just aren't that much of a phone person.

    If she is repeating herself over and over and over you need to talk to your DH about getting her to a doctor because she could have some serious mental health issues or Alzheimers. Both of those things would need to be addressed. And if she is family then that is partially your responsibility- regardless of what has happened in the past.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I think you need to speak up talk to her about this. Let her know that you do have other things to do and can't be on the phone with her for 2hrs every day. Maybe you could set aside a special day/time for her (like every friday at 2pm) and let her know that is 'her' time and you will be able to talk then.
    If she does still call everyday you could chat for a few minutes and then tell her you have to go. She does not need to know why. One thing I did when hubs step-sis would call was ring the doorbell and say "oh, someone's at the door, gotta go" (she would be on the phone all afternoon if I let her!).
    If you are not comfortable speaking up to her then have your husband do it. Maybe she would listen better if it came from him.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:00 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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