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Would you consider this to be abuse?

and if so what would you do if you felt helpless---OK here is the thing my husband has a bad habit of getting our boys to come near him and then he starts tickling them till they are begging him to stop and are in tears; and alot of times he won't stop even then.

When I say anything to him he gets all huffy and starts yelling at me and telling me if I don't like it then get the h*** out and find some place else to live. I don't work and have no money or family to go to so alot of times I just bite my tongue and not say anything and what would you do?

 
Christmaslver68

Asked by Christmaslver68 at 1:54 PM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 47 (254,089 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • yes, it is abuse and its making your life miserable in the process. and with you just biting your tongue and letting it slide, you are losing your self worth. i bit my tongue and kept my mouth shut for years and years and then i really began to look at what a sad, depressing woman i had let him turn me into. i was in the same boat, no where to go, no friends to help out, no job, kids, and after about 6-7 yrs of it, i just finally stood up for myself and the woman and mother that i should have been and let him hear me scream right back and packed my kids and my stuff and out the door i was. he had told me many times to get out of his house, and it felt good to actually have him stand there speechless and stupified like i had been many times over! stay strong and my blessings to you
    MommaFossil

    Answer by MommaFossil at 8:17 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • yep... mental and emotional and even physical with the boys.. restraining them down. and verbal. He has you where he wants you.. he knows u wont go anywhere, your self esteem is under your feet and no way of getting back up. No family, money, and isolation. make a change for you and the kids. before they grow up with low self esteem and insecurities too.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 2:00 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I was always taught by my mom that extended tickling is abusive. A little of it is OK but when a child is begging someone to stop, it has gone too far. Your husband sounds very abusive in the way he tells you to get out if you don't like it. Who made him the boss of what should happen with you?
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 2:00 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Yes. I agree it is. He is being verbally abusive to you and doing something he knows bothers you. The boys do not like being tickled once they say stop.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:56 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • yeah THE WAY he is treating them is abusive - they arent his playtoys ... and the way he is talking to you is out of line. anything you bought together is half yours by law (things you have bought since you were married so you might own more than you think.) if i told dh to stop attacking ds and he didnt i would go get a huge bucket of water and throw it on him like a fighting dog and then kick his butt.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:09 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • i agree towards u. hes useing the fact that he knows u wont leave. throw him for a loop and next time look him stright in the face and say no u get out. he might stop saying it. i know it worked with my x he stoped telling me stuff like that..i just wish i couldve stoped him from screwing other women. anyways... as for the kids he might be playing to much but the kids might really like the attention dads giving them. although i do agree let them breath. or catch there breath. good luck.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 1:59 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Those words are pretty nasty specially coming from someone who is suppose to love you, and it demeans you in front of your children's eyes.  Tickling his kids, might get annoying after a while but it is a good way to bond with them too.

    older

    Answer by older at 2:00 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Sounds like he is a big old bully who knows how to get to you,, if he won't go to counseling,, next time say okay I will get out, pack your things and go away,, I would bet he will come begging after you,, if he doesn't it sounds like you have a good case for child and spousal support,, do not tolerate having him speak to you in front of the kids the way he is,, your boys are going to think that it is just fine to disrespect women,, and the cycle goes on,, be strong and stick to your guns! In my experience most bullies will back down when confronted with what they threaten,, good luck and huggles!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 2:05 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • If my dh did that I would be angry not scared. I won't let anyone hurt my kids. I would drag my kids away from him... meaning I would physically remove them from near him. He is being mean. Tell him. He sounds like a bully. You have to stand up for yourself. If my dh told me to get the hell out then I'd be like "Sure thing! I don't want to be around someone who is mean like that!" There are shelters you could go to. Take off for awhile next time he says that.
    Autumn07

    Answer by Autumn07 at 2:51 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Yes that is abuse.Plus..I dont understand why he'd get so mad and offensive when you say something to him about it.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:00 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

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