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Has anyone ever heard of 123 Magic?

Both my daughters are in trauma therapy for the things that they have gone through in their life, due to their dad and being at their dads for visitation. The girls therapist has mentioned 123 Magic, so has the school guidance counselor. I was just wondering if anyone has heard of it, or uses it and if it has worked for them. I started using it, but have realized that my 6 year olds tempter tantrums have gotten worse. Thanks everyone for reading :)


Asked by dolphingoddess at 2:51 PM on Mar. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • Yes, it's a very popular disciplining technique, but you've got to use it consistently across the board or it isn't effective. If this is a new thing to be doing in your home, and something very different from the way you used to do things, rebellion isn't to be unexpected. Kids will test limits, so sometimes things will need to get worse before they can get better, kwim? With your situation & the trauma that you've hinted at, it may take longer for your children to adapt to the technique. If you are struggling, I would suggest speaking to your DD's counselor about it & maybe the counselor can suggest adaptations to the technique to help you manage and/or get through your DD's tantrums? I wish you all the best & hope that things settle & start getting better for your family soon.

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 2:57 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I've heard of it and read it but failed miserably at implementing it in our home. You HAVE to be consistent for it to work and I just wasn't. I've heard and read many great comments about the approach. Good luck to you and your children.

    Answer by meooma at 3:02 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • We have the book and tried the method. It worked better with some of our kids than others. We have incorporated some of the techniques into our parenting. I agree with mom2aspclboy that you need to give it some time to try it out if it is different than how you've been doing things to see if it's going to be effective.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:03 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I dont think it works, but thats just me. Ive tried it, and failed. Each child is different, and you just have to find what works best for you. Good luck!

    Answer by ReReJohnson at 3:32 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Thank you for taking time and reading and offering your opinions and experiences. I have used this method for about 2 months now. It works better on my 9yr old daughter than it does on my 6yr old. She has tantrums that are at least 15 mins long. Her therapist just says to ignore her because she is looking for that negative attention and seeing how long it would take me or my fiance to give in.

    To Momaspclboy...The guidence counselor at school is aware of the situation and works with the girls for a half hour a week each individually. My 9yr old also sees a mentor that is in 8th grade at another school and that seems to also have helped her a lot. Thank you for your advice, its appreciated :)

    Comment by dolphingoddess (original poster) at 4:20 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • "If you've ever heard a mother sternly counting to three when her child is misbehaving, you've witnessed the impact of "123 Magic" on today's parenting culture. Developed by psychologist Thomas Phelan, 123 Magic is all about being consistent with consequences and not getting all worked up when you put your child in time out."

    Read more: How to Use 1-2-3 Magic Discipline |

    Answer by MMXI at 2:55 PM on Mar. 28, 2011