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8 Bumps

Question for those married young

why did you marry? did you feel you were grown up? were you sure you and he were who you would be for the long haul?  did the marriage work out?

 

I dont mean to be offensive... Im truly curious.  The only people I know who married young are now in their 60s+  it was more acceptable back then and the only way you could leave the house.  None of my friends/acquaintances would have considered marring early because we were all in college or starting out and marriage was seen as being settled.  Guess we were having too much fun.  But I see so many very young ladies here who are married and Im curious as to why so early.  ((this is for those who didnt have to get married))

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (49)
  • I got married because my mother in law agreed to pay for the wedding.. truthfully we would have waited a few more years and in the end never married.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Is 18 and 19 considered young? Or did you mean even younger?
    Brandi300

    Answer by Brandi300 at 3:20 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I got married when I was 20.
    I married him because I loved him and we were committed to each other. I was NOT pregnant, we did not have sex until our wedding night. We are in it for the long haul, yes I think we were both mature for our age. We both had had the same job for about 2 years, both had had car payments since we were 17. Yes, we are still married and still very committed to each other and very happy.
    nsrush83

    Answer by nsrush83 at 3:21 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • me and DH got married because he got me pregnant. we've come close to breaking it off, but we're still together. apparently we're doing something right, but we've repeated told each other that we wouldn't be together if we didn't have a child together.
    febmom007

    Answer by febmom007 at 3:22 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Brandi300 - 18/19 is WAY young.

    anon... you think you would have not married had you waited??? are you still married???
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:22 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I got married at 19, and it was VERY unusual where I grew up. Mainly, we did it because he was moving back to the US, and it was easier for me to come with him that way. I would have much rather lived together for a couple of years first... But yes, I thought I was mature enough to make a decision like that, and looking back......I totally wasn't. People change so much in their 20's. Plus, I totally ignored his alcoholism back then, thinking I'd "change him". Not so much.

    I got divorced after 8 years of abuse.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 3:22 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • We got married at 18. We loved each other so much and knew it was what we wanted. Many people told us it would never last, we was to young. In a couple months it will be our 9 year wedding anniversary and we are still very happily married.
    LadyKiki

    Answer by LadyKiki at 3:22 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • For the record, now I tell everybody to wait till they hit 30 before even CONSIDERING marriage, heh.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 3:23 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I married young because I thought I was grown and wanted out of my parent's house so that I could make my own decisions. We had a daughter and stayed married 8 years. In retrospect, I should not have gotten married when I did. We were BOTH young and grew up and apart. It is only now, 20 years later, that we have become the best of friends -- but I still wouldn't marry him again.
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 3:24 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • why did you marry? I was pressured by my parents, his parents & him to get married because we had a baby.

    did you feel you were grown up? Yes I did think so at the time

    were you sure you and he were who you would be for the long haul?

    I dont know if I was sure about anything I was 18 yrs old. I may have thought I was sure, but people grow up and change and for me and many friends in the same situation we wont think about the fact we will, because we think we ARE grown up.

    did the marriage work out?
    Nope. In all honesty it probably could have. He became abusive, cheated on me and we had pretty much worked through all of it but I didnt love him anymore. He wanted very badly for us to work and again for the kids, but I wanted more out of my life then him.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:24 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

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