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Stepmom needs advice!

Well, I am in a relationship with a man that has a 2 1/2 year old son. I love him like my own but...let's face it...it's tough! Are there any other stepmoms that I can get some advice on?

Answer Question
 
calijewl84

Asked by calijewl84 at 4:00 PM on Mar. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Just treat him like your own and don't expect him to call you Mom (makes it easier on the bio mom if you just have him call you your name for now).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I'm a stepmom, I'm more than happy to help answer any questions you might have and help out where I can.
    sdks2011

    Answer by sdks2011 at 4:03 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Dont try and be his mother. He has one. Stay out of the relationship between mom and dad too. You will just be the bad guy otherwise.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I met my step son 13 years ago, he was 6 at the time. How long have you been with this man that you already love his son like your own? How long has he been divorced? Do you plan to marry? Do you live together? How is his relationship with his ex and how is your relationship with his ex?

    Without having all the info, my first instinct is to tell you to slow down and make sure you have appropriate boundaries.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 4:15 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I am a stepmom of three. Love him like hes yours, only appropriate dicipline, do NOT put your hands on him in any way other than a hug goodnight etc.. stay out of the dad and bio moms arguments and arrangements, and if youre unsure about the boundaries of the mother, it wont hurt to call and ask. If you are going to be in his life you need a good relationship with him but he also needs to respect any rules of the household you may have. i have a stepson that is with us most days right now and i tell his mom everything she may want to know. If hed gotten n trouble, if i had to put him in time out, if he had a fall while playing outside, what you have planned with him, it makes his mom more comfortable when she knows a bit more about his day. Also, we try to have all the same rules at both households, and if hes grounded at one house hes grounded at the other as well until the end of the grounding. I have faith that youll do fin
    ReReJohnson

    Answer by ReReJohnson at 4:26 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I am the stepmom of a 4 year old boy. He has been part of my life since he was 18 months old. I can't really add anything to what ReReJohnson said.
    other_mother

    Answer by other_mother at 6:48 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Right now it is very easy!! just take care of him as if he was yours. When he gets a little older depending on his mother it could get a little trickey. I have seen it go both ways, where the bio mom is welcoming and doesnt mind if you are in his life and she realizes it is not a competition. But on the other hand be prepared to be put in another catagory. Evil step mom where no matter what you do is wrong. No matter which way it goes you dont change what your doing. As long as you love, and care for this child and you know in your heart that you are being the best SM you can be you have done enough. I have been struggling for the last 4 years with an angery ex wife ,and no matter what I do it is wrong. But I know I Love and care for the children and that is all that matters. Let them be the angry one. Enjoy your man and his child. That is the best advise I can give. As long as your man and the child are happy together.
    cmerc19

    Answer by cmerc19 at 1:48 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

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