Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I am tired of being a mom to my s/o!!!!

Hi biggest issue is my low drive for him. I admit, it is low, dn't why, I can only think of my birth control. I try to explain to him why it could be, but he just won't try to understaned, told him numerous times. Wherevere we go, he is always touching or groping me in some way. I get tired of it. Even with our kids there. Now, its almost a turn off for me. Then he gets mad or upset, and he'll start saying I don't have a drive for anymore, and I'll probably have a better sex drive with someone else. It's seems he basing our relationship on this only, and that don't give me much confidence. I look at other things like spending time with the kids, or my family is fullfilling. But not him, I understand I need to help with his particular concern too, but its very hard for me. And his drinking, he likes to drink, me, occasionally. He really wants me too, and when I don't want too, he somehow makes it me feel bad. He just like s to make me feel bad, when he doesnt get what he wants.

Answer Question
 
geraldine

Asked by geraldine at 5:10 PM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (18 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Seems to me you need to talk to him to try to get to the root of the problem. If he wont talk, suggest conseling. If he refuses, see about some time apart to sort out your own feelings. Maybe its your birth control, or maybe its deeper than that. its a proven fact that after the first year it takes an emotional connection to keep up a sex drive. And when that cconnection is gone, so is the desire. I really hope whatever you choose to do that it works out for you. Oh, and if he keeps being mean to you the way he is, then hes not being supportive, and hes being selfish.That shows he only cares about HIM, and maybe things wont work if hes not willing to communicate.
    ReReJohnson

    Answer by ReReJohnson at 5:26 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I honestly know how you feel,sounds like my situation exactly! I don't know how old you are but I'm assuming my problem is partially my age (42) and the fact that I have low self esteem/ body image! I never really had a super sex drive and after having 2 kids... well, lets just say it's non existent! My husband as well likes to drink and it's a major turn off! I hear all the comments too like "If you were with someone else, You'd be all over them etc, etc. You said family is fulfilling to you, same here. I do try to see his point and do things for him even though I don't feel like it but that is difficult. I think men are just very sexual beings, at least that's all I've ever experienced. Wish I could give you some good advise like seek counseling or maybe I should do the same? We've been married 12 yrs, now and I still hear about it all the time, ugh!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 5:53 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Sounds like my situation exactly. I don't like my husband, I think about leaving him. When he doesn't get his way, he emotionally shuts down and calls me names. I hate him sometimes. I think I came to the conclusion that were not going to last. IM me/add me as a friend if you want.
    BingsMommy

    Answer by BingsMommy at 10:52 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • He is "groping" you because he is trying to turn you on. He figures that if you won't turn yourself on, and if you won't TELL him how to turn you on, then he is going to take matters in his own hands.

    Reconnect with your sexy side (yes, you have one--you had kids, didn't you?) and try having sex on a regular basis. You may find that you more you do it, the more you want it. Get yourself revved up and initiate. I'm sure he'd LOVE for you to initiate.

    His comments about you being happier with someone else stem from insecurity and hurt built up over time from sexual rejection. While sex is not love, sex IS an expression of love that many people (myself included) need as reassurance that their partner loves them and finds them attractive.

    P.S. If you are tired of being his mom, then try being his WIFE.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 1:05 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN