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2 Bumps

How do i stop hurting?

Ok found out from dh that he had gone to a strip club while I was 8 months pregnant with our fourth child and home taking care of all the kids. Well i just had our fifth 2 weeks ago and It hurts that he lied and said he went to a bar and had a drink. Nothing about it being a strip club. He doesn't want me going out he is afraid i will get hit on if i do but its ok for him to go whenever!! I dont know why but this hurt me alot and im not sure i can just get over this... It hurt he lied and hide it from me and that he felt he need to go look at other women while i was pregnant and extremely self conscious. Makes me wonder what else he is lying about. Not sure what to do...

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • My dh did the same thing, not while I was pregnant though. It's been 4 years and it still hurts to think about it. I'm a confident gal, but can't for the life of me think of any good reason or excuse that would make him want to look at other women like that. People have suggested marriage counseling, and I'm sure it will eventually lead us to that point. But I just can't shake that he lied. At this point that's all that really gets to me. He knows, we have had many conversations about it, and he has never given me a good answer....

    Sorry I'm not much help, just know you aren't alone!

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 5:29 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I definately know what youre going through. The question to ask is, do you trust him? Usually once they lie, then you uncover a lot of lies, then you realize everything is a lie in one way or another. did he tell you himself that he went to the stripclub? And the double standards DO NOT work in a relationship. That shows her being possesive, and also that he doesnt trust you. I just read an extremely long article on this last night written by leading psychologists. So I find this a little strange. You need to ask yourself if you stilllove him and if you could ever trust him again. If the answer is yes, you can go see a therapist, or make a time to talk every night to try to get everything out in the open. Let him know if there is anything else he has lied to you about that he need to let you know NOW. That way you can both move on with the relationship. Nothing will make it go away, but in time it will get easier to deal with

    Answer by ReReJohnson at 5:33 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I would go to a male strip club & if he "didn't allow it" i would laugh in his face & leave him with the 5 kids anyway. THAT would make me feel better.

    Gosh, maybe I'm just a bitch...but i do not handle "you're not allowed" at all. My DH is NOT my effing daddy...

    You didn't want him going to a strip club, but he did anyway. Maybe he needs a taste of his own medicine.

    I'm just glad that my DH finds strippers gross. Un-classy women do nothing for him...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:52 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • i dont handle that "you're not allowed" either.. why is he allowed to go out, but you aren't? females will hit on a man, just as much as males will hit on a female!

    if he goes out on friday, you go out the next friday... if he doesnt like it, then he doesnt have to go out either! imo

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 6:15 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • i dont think he should lied he could of told you the truth i personally dont think them going is a bad thing only because i trust them

    Answer by goobersmom713 at 6:35 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • if he lied, he knew what he was doing was wrong. if he can set down laws for you, set them down for him too. point blank, if it hurts your feelings this much then it's wrong.

    Answer by spastic_poodle at 6:42 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

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