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a little shy

My SO and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. Everyone loves him and my daughter. We stay at my relatives sometimes but my SO tends to stay shut in a room with my little brother playing video games or watching TV. My family doesn't seem to mind but I would like for him to hang out with them more. Is he shy? How can I help?

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amber710

Asked by amber710 at 7:04 PM on Nov. 27, 2008 in Relationships

Level 18 (4,826 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • my bf is the same way and im still trying 2 figure out a way 2 get it out of him
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 7:11 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • If you have been together two plus years then he won't be offended if you ask him if he is shy or introverted. There are many people who are not shy but just don't really feel the need to socialize a lot. They don't intend their actions to be rude just not as socially outgoing as others or they tend to not give a whole lot of personal private detail about themselves accept to those that are the closest to them. Its not a bad thing. The important thing is to find a SO who will understand your personality and temperment and be okay with it. If he is shy then he has to be the one to SLOWLY dip his toes in. Could take a while. No need to "fix" it or try to change him. As you probably know you can't change anyone but yourself. If you love him, he's good to you, and he's a good person in general then you just have to be okay with the idea that no one is perfect even when they are perfect for you.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:11 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • Some guys are just like that. My dh is and its no big deal. Everyone knows hes just quiet and he comes around when he wants to. My dads also the same way. I think you just need to let him be him and let him lead. If you bring it up you could make him self conscious about the whole situation. Maybe talk to him a little about being more in the room with you for say 30 min and then going to play. You can probably strike some kind of deal but in the end he is who he is and you cant change ppl.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • My DH doesn't get along with men very well, so he's like this in social situations that have several men or men that he's not comfortable with. DH also holds grudges against people that have hurt me in the past. (in our case that is especially my dad and stepmom, we've reconciled but DH is still holding things i've told him against them) He loves my mom's family. And girls, he's really great with women!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • hahaha my SO does the exact same thing! He does it when we visit my family and it kind of makes me mad because it almost seems disrespectful but I understand that he is uncomfortable because he doesn't know them very well. I get shy around his family too! Just ask him to come "help you with something" to bring him out. Is your family accepting of him? Maybe let them know he's a little shy and ask them to make him feel welcome.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

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