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2 Bumps

Was this wrong?

My sister (who lives with us) has a mental disability and she has a nightgown that you can see right through. Its pink and kinda silky. I got so tired of her wearing it to run around the house in front of my husband that when I was doing the laundry I threw it away. I have asked her at least 6 times to only wear it in her room. I was talking to another sister on facebook and she told me I should have just kept asking her not to wear it and that I shouldn't have thrown away her clothes. Thoughts? She is 21 but mentally about 9-12.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I pull the "disappeared in the laundry" trick all the time with my daughter when she comes home with inappropriate stuff that a "friend gave her" I see nothing wrong with what she did and I wouldn't mention anything further about it. You said she has the mentality of a child and doesn't understand why it is wrong - continuing to let her wear it is inappropriate and she isn't going to stop. I think you did the right thing. Just buy her a new pair of jammies to replace it and say nothing further.

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 7:15 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • This probably doesn't help, and it probably won't be the popular answer...but you did the same thing I would have done. If it were my sister who WAS actually 9--12 wearing something inappropriate (revealing shirt, too short of a skirt, skimpy bikini etc), I would do the same thing. So why should it be wrong simply because she is chronologically older than her mental age? Hang in there. You probably have enough challenges, I don't think you should beat yourself up about this one.

    Answer by blu_canary at 11:26 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I agree with your other sister. I wouldn't have thrown it away, but I might have bought her a robe and told her when she came out of her room she needed to be in the robe.

    Answer by cdecker83 at 11:24 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • When she wore it you could have given her a robe to put on. Did you explain to her why she could not wear it? It is over now, maybe you could buy her a new more discreet gown.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:24 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • While I can see you were frustrated at what you felt was her being uncooperative, a better solution would have been offering to take her to get a new nightgown you both like.

    Answer by EdwinsMommy at 11:24 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Maybe I will buy her another and give it to her and then when I do explain to her why I got rid of the other one.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:25 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • mmmm i think that you shouldnt have threw it away..i mean i mighta did the same you could of bought her a brand new one that she mighta like and gave it to her im sure she wouldve wore it..

    Answer by Mami9674 at 11:25 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • tough one, if she is making others uncomfortable with doing this and she KNOWS its something she has been asked to not do, then take in her mental age then really you are like a Mother to her. What do most parent's do when a child disobeys , they get punished. She lost her privileged of having that nightgown anymore by not respecting your rules and requests. My only concern was there any emotional attachment to that nightgown. Like a child with a lovey or something they attach to after losing a parent etc? If so, then you might have thought twice. Maybe re-purposing it to being part of a pillow or something might have been better if that was the case.

    Answer by Satiblue at 11:26 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I think you should definately take her out shopping for a new night gown that is more appropriate. Congrats for taking care of your sis btw!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 11:29 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Having read the other responses that came in while I was typing mine, I might wait to see if she even mentions it before worrying about explaining. Buy her a new one if she needs one, but I would wait to see if it was really that important before you stir up something that might not be that big of a deal to her.

    Answer by blu_canary at 11:29 PM on Mar. 28, 2011