Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Anger and resentment toward a step son.

Recently put him in rehab for drugs. I love him very dearly, but struggle with anger towards him and what hes done to the family. I do my best to be supportive of his dad who would go to the ends of the earth for this young man, but doesnt follow through with his threats when we know he is lying and doing drugs. I feel horrible for feeling this way and need to get ahold of my anger and resentment because it's taking a toll on my marriage!

Answer Question
 
HarleyCat

Asked by HarleyCat at 11:26 PM on Mar. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Have you sought any support for yourself? the loved ones of addicts often get a parrelel set of issues that needs to be dealt with in them. there are great 12 step support groups for the loved ones of addicts and alcoholics where you can find education on the disease of addiction, support and learn ways to protect yourself emotionally , financially etc by finding out what worked for others in a similar situation to yours. unfortunately until this young man takes sobriety seriously , he can never be trusted, he will always be a liar, a thief and a con. but if he ever does take recovery seriously there is hope. my heart goes out to you all.
    Satiblue

    Answer by Satiblue at 11:32 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • sometimes we dont want to believe it is as bad as it is. We think oh well its just a phase and it will go away... then yrs later we realize.... nope its not going away and its worse. Dad will eventually get to the point of facing the truth. Right now he may be in denial where you are seeing it from a whole nother light. It will take a toll on the marriage but talking through this with him will help him realize that its breaking your heart too... you are just trying to admit the truth, help fix it and continue your lifes journey. Don't give into dropping it.. soon dad with come around and be on the same page. take care.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 11:58 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Im dealing with the same thing. Its very hard. And yes it takes a toll on the relashionship. Ive been with my Husband since I was 16 im now 32. I have raised his son since his son was 2. He is going to be 18 soon. I just had to have him leave are home, Because he attached my husband and me.
    As a parent to two younger kids who also live here I could not keep letting this go on.
    And now that my Step Son is no longer in the house , My house has been so much more peaceful. And Me and my Husband are working on us again. I hope that you two find the strength to fix what is broken. And stay strong. He has to see his son for what it is . And realize your only human.
    MOMofTwo_99_00

    Answer by MOMofTwo_99_00 at 3:30 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • maybe its time to say enuff! let him be. the best teacher is experience. let him learn from consequences. i know its really hard you are holding on to someone who wants to let go. if rehab has failed sit with him then tell him you wash ur hands off him now he can do whateva he thinks is right for him but let him know u love him n will wait for the day he abandons his destructive ways
    linah12345

    Answer by linah12345 at 3:59 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Oh, boy, I'm having this with my step-daughter, she's not on drugs, but she does what she wants and when she wants. She doesn't care. She has no respect and talks back.
    BingsMommy

    Answer by BingsMommy at 10:41 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.