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Friend Called CPS on me. I'm VERY hurt.

Two weeks ago we had someone from CPS show up at our door. The lady was very nice, but said they'd gotten a call that I'm not mentally healthy, and am unable to care for my child. This could not be further from the truth. Our son is very well cared for. He is a special needs child, and we've been very proactive in getting him every support service he needs. Countless doctor's visits etc. I gave up my job to stay home with him so he'd have a caregiver that knew everything he needed. In short- we love and care for our son.

Today they came back to do a full evaluation. I wasn't allowed to have my husband there with me as they said they have to interview us separately. During the interview she stated the concerns voiced during the phone call to them included an accusation that I lock my son in his room all day, that we completely ignore our son at night and do not care for his needs, and that my husband is mentally abusive and is not supportive of me. NONE of these things could be further from the truth. The caller also said that we are making up our son's health issues in order to take him to the doctor more often. (How silly can they be?? Like we WANT more medical bills?! ugh!)

I stayed calm and friendly with the CPS employee. I answered all of her questions openly and honestly, and signed the appropriate releases for her to talk to other care givers like our son's doctors. I know who called because one of my 'friends' always comments that she feels our son is 'normal' and shouldn't need so many doctors. (Personally I think she feels he should be completely incapacitated to need services etc) She's even asked if we are 'sure' he has health problems.

I am absolutely SICK over the things she has said. I haven't confronted her and I will not as I feel that will only make things worse. I guess I'm just wondering what else (if anything?) we can do to help the case along and get back to our lives. Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice would be helpful.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Mar. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • Wow I dont know what to say to this as I have not been through it but good luck is all I can say sorry wish I could help

    Answer by christinahenry at 11:41 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I haven't gone through anything like this but I just wanted to say you are very strong for getting through this. I think you did the right thing, staying calm and friendly. I think thats the best thing to do, just be very cooperative with them. They can be all nosey and up in your bussiness with all the CPS policies they want but youre not doing anything wrong so they won't be able to do anything.
    they HAVE to investigate those complaints even if they show up and 2 seconds into the interview thing everything is fine.
    stay strong!
    hopefully your friend really thinks she did the right thing and isn't just doing it to be a B*tch
    personally she wouldn't be my friend any longer

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 11:43 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Ok , protect yourself. Don't worry about the person who called on you. Don't offer anything they don't ask for. Other than that keep your mouth shut. CPS has a way of twisting your words around. Trust me. You are the parent. Protect yourself and your child. Don't offer any extra information, and don't contact them, unless CPS asks you to do so.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:43 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Cut off all contact and communication with her. Do not question or explain anything to her.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:44 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • Wow.... I'm so sorry! I would call her or something and say she is no longer in your or your family's life and leave it at that. Then just show CPS that the call was false. As long as you're telling the truth (from which I believe you are) you will definately be fine! GL and I'm so sorry you are going through this!hugs


    Answer by June_Mama09 at 11:45 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I guess I don't even understand why you even let her in to begin with. without a court order and police escort she could not enter your home if you refused her. you could have gotten yourself a lawyer for your own protection. Why did you even let them back for another visit? I would have flat out refused them to enter my home. NO WAY NO HOW. and my next stop would have been calling lawyers. I guess I am not used to even the idea of letting someone get this invasive in my family without proper proof , court order etc. I would never sit down with a welfare case worker without legal representation . I have nothing to hide, but even when the lady came to my door months ago, i did not let her IN. how do you know too who reported you? in my case it was a perfect stranger who was stalking me . but child welfare does NOT tell you who called specifically even if they know the accusers name. I would get a lawyer.

    Answer by Satiblue at 11:47 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I would definately keep this "friend" at a distance. I think things will come to end soon. But would be cautious with confiding in neighbors/friends about anything personal.

    Answer by kkbird at 11:51 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I showed the social worker the texts from the nanny I fired for having people in my home while I was gone. She threatened to have my kids taken away, and was gloating about it...dumbass.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:53 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • i wouldnt worrie to much if what is being said isnt true as for the friend i would get rid of them because they will just keep doing it over and over

    Answer by cshahan at 12:21 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I have had this happen to me. I would tell the "friend" you prefer they didn't come around anymore and have nothing more to do with them. While it's true you dont have to let CPS in your house without a warrent and police escort going that route usually results in the removal of your children until the investigation is over. Cooperate with them. You get better and faster results. As long as you are not doing anything wrong they will close the investigation and leave you alone. They have to finish within 90 days of the call. Just go about your day the way you always do and don't stress too much.

    Answer by cottoncandy1 at 2:19 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

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