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Does your child turn into something else whenever there are lots of people around?

She did it on Easter, she does it as Chuckie Cheese and Disneyland, she did it today on Thanksgiving. She is usually sweet and well-behaved, but today she is this demanding, loud, whiny little snob, as she always is around crowds. I've only known her for 7 months but I feel like this needy, mean side of her will always be there, since neglect was engrained in her since birth by her ought-to-go-to-the-gallows biological mother. GRRRR!!!

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20sumstepmom

Asked by 20sumstepmom at 7:44 PM on Nov. 27, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (5)
  • My five year old Daughter does that so bad there isn't to much u can do about it but discipline her the same way u would if no one else was around keep things the same no matter where u are. When my daughter is around my mother-n-law she tries to test me and my husband so bad by not listening to us or anyone for that matter . Because she thinks her grandma will let her get away with anything.But we do things the same and don't let her get away with things just cause people are around. I don't know if i helped much but hope this helps some .

    Cecily
    MaddyandAlexa88

    Answer by MaddyandAlexa88 at 8:14 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • Thanks Cecily. I do keep things the same. Actually very much the same. Her timeouts are facing a wall, but if were out I can put her facing.... the car. a corner. anything. And today we had Thanksgiving dinner up at the neighbor's apt. above us. I just broght her downstairs and talked to her, the put her on timeout, then made her relax for about 20 minutes (she hung out with her daddy while i was back upstairs). After the break shew as OK. I just hate that without fail she does this every chance she has. Thanks for your response though. Maybe it is more normal than I think!
    20sumstepmom

    Answer by 20sumstepmom at 11:51 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • Yeah, my child does turn into something when other people are around. An angel. It frustrates me sometimes. I'm like really he can throw a fit. And then all our family only sees how he's just so sweet and inocent so it must be mommy is stressed. Stressed my ass! I love my son, he's the love of my life, but why does the mother always get blamed?
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:58 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • As a foster parent (I'm assuming or I could be very wrong - sorry) then this would be very normal behavior. Most children who have been in neglectful or abusive situations have never learned appropriate social skills. So it will take a whole lot of time and consistancy. I am a big believer in the one year marker personally. After one year take a look back and see all the progress she has made in all the areas of her life. I bet you will be like, "OMG she is a different child." Also therapy for these kids help a ton. You may never know the full story, sometimes what we do know is just the tip of the 'burg. So hang in there...oh, and can you be my parent? Your vacations sound like heaven to me.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:02 AM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Sounds like she's showing off and doing a terrible job of it.

    I would call her out on it. Stop showing off. You're making yourself look foolish. There are better ways to get attention. I also wouldn't give her the attention she's seeking with the wrong behaviors. Completely ignore her, even compliment other kids who are modeling the behavior you'd like to see.

    My oldest pulls a show off number where he just wont stop talking. Suddenly he 'feels the spotlight' of adult attention from adults who aren't mom and dad and to keep that attention on himself he keeps upping the ante. His method is bragging. About all the wrong things. It sounds like whiny and demanding is her way of keeping the attention focused on herself.
    Kestrel1

    Answer by Kestrel1 at 8:04 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

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