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How do I get my baby to not want to be held all the time?

I have a 4 month old and he constantly wants to be held and he cries and when you pick him up he stops crying. What do I do?

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Asked by smile123379 at 7:54 AM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (52 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • wear him. Babies like to be close to their mothers.

    Answer by MrsMWF at 7:55 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Let him cry a little bit..I know that sounds harsh, but if you pick him up every time he cries, he's going to keep crying for you to hold him. You can try to put him in a swing or something, though, to give him that feeling of being rocked (I like the papasan seat ones--they really make the baby feel like they are being held).

    Answer by laird6372 at 7:56 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Even though it may be hard, you need to let him cry some. Babies are smart and realize quickly that when they cry they will get held. You need to teach him to be independent and teach him how to self soothe. It may take some time, and will definitely take some patience. You can go and comfort him when he cries by just touching his belly and talking softly to let him know you're still there. Good luck!

    Answer by Danda08 at 7:59 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • At 4 months, he needs to be held. He is too young for self soothing and crying it out.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 8:01 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • laird6372 is right on the money.... I learned the hard way... I always had my daughter on my hip her first year... it got worse with time... She wouldnt let me take my hands off the grocery cart to get something off the shelf, screamed when I took a shower or left the room for a momment... I would nip it in the bud right away because I certain created a monster.. lol... I always liked the bounce chairs with the toys at their eye level... good luck and be strong... I know it is so hard to let your baby cry...

    Answer by TraceyLu at 8:05 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I wouldn't let him cry for long periods of time, but letting him fuss for a couple minutes here and there will be okay. Try putting him in a bouncy seat and sitting down with him, entertaining him with some toys. Once he's okay with you right there you can try gradually moving further and further away.

    Answer by missanc at 8:22 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • It gets easier in a few months when the baby can hold things and explore them. But a few minutes crying here and there is not going to hurt.

    Answer by elizabr at 8:31 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Pick him up. He is only 4 months old. I was one who if I wasn't holding my babies I was talking to them. Park a swing next to the kitchen sink and talk to him while you do the dishes and cook dinner. They do find your voice almost as soothing as your arms. When I took a shower I would park them strapped into in a baby seat on the bathroom floor and play pee-a-boo from behind the curtain. There are things you can do to reassure them that you are coming back.

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 8:32 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Hold him!

    That is what you do, you hold them all day when they are this young!. Buy a sling & keep him close to you at all times. My DD lived in her sling for the first 6 months of her life. she just hung out in there all day. I would clean, go walking, cook & do laundry all while she was in her sling right next to my beating heart.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:05 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • You do NOTHING... this is normal and what they are programmed to do. Put baby in a sling... it's the second most important piece of baby equipment you can own besides the car seat.

    Baby doesn't know that there are no wolves or bears to come EAT him when you put him down; he's crying because he's trying to preserve his skin. They're primitive critters with simple needs, really... and this period passes quickly. You cannot create a monster by holding the baby...the "monster" was created when baby was born, if you want to think of them as monsters.

    Even CIO advocates say six months is the EARLIEST for this.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:30 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

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