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3 Bumps

What are your thoughts?

An 18 yr old boy kissed a 13 yr old girl in church the other day, and she did not want to be kissed. Members in the church are all upset that this boy kissed this girl in church and have reprimanded him as did his parents for the same. Do any of you have a problem with this? Isn't the problem- An 18 yo kissed a 13 yo without her consent? And not the location where the kiss took place? Any suggestions you have, for me to continue to have discussions with these other parents and church members would be greatly appreciated. These parents just aren't getting it-or Maybe I'm the one who is wrong. thank you in advance for your responses.


Asked by jewjewbee at 7:59 AM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Religious Debate

Level 35 (76,199 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (32)
  • Jewjew, I think the (sad) fact of the matter is that if you have pointed out the wrongness of an 18 year old touching a 13 year old to these people and all you're getting is blank stares, I'm not sure there's a whole lot else you CAN do. I find that when people are of a certain mindset, it's very, very difficult to show them a different angle. Most people aren't willing to try to examine things from different perspectives, particularly if this is a southern Baptist congregation.
    Yes, go ahead and down vote me. I hate to generalize, but sometimes it just is what it is. I have a lifetime of reasons that have led me to believe it.

    Answer by vicesix at 8:27 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I dont care where it happened. First off, a 13 year old is a CHILD. Secondly, the 18 year old went against her wishes. Something is off.

    Answer by ArmyWifeAshlie at 8:01 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Both should understand why this is unacceptable no matter where they are.

    She told him no and he did it anyway - that's not a kid playing at church, that's a child having contact forced on her by an adult.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 8:23 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Yeah, the age gap and the lack of consent (not that consent is too much of a factor here--18 and 13 don't go together any way you slice it) are far more pressing concerns than the fact that it took place inside the church building.

    Answer by vicesix at 8:14 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Just very matter of factly point out to them that he's now eligible for the sex offender registry, and that he still would be if it had happened in his school, living room or the McDonald's parking lot. It's a nit-picky thing, but what it comes down to is unwanted contact by an adult towards a minor child. If it were reported, it would have to be investigated. If it comes to that, that's still an option for you.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 8:21 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Why did a 13 year old girl's parents allow her to "spend the day" with an 18 year old man?

    Answer by vicesix at 8:29 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • The only real issue I have is that No means No. The age difference is a big deal now, but no one will complain when he's 25 and she's 20. At church or not isn't the issue. Him being inappropriate and going against her wishes is. Without the WHOLE story I am in no position to make any kind of judgement call on his behavior. Is he neurotypical or special needs?? What about her?? Did she do or say anything that might have lead him to believe she wanted to be kissed?? We assume she's an innocent "victim", but is she really?? Or was she just saying that because she's at church and her parents are around??

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:06 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Verbally reprimanding an 18 y/o unless he has some Mental disability, in not an appropriate course of action. He is old enough to know what is appropriate or not. It's up to the girl's parents to seek criminal charges, but I sure as hell would! That is of course, assuming that I'd let him leave the Church alive.

    Answer by Kimedbs at 8:08 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Yes, i have a big problem with it. i could care less WHERE he kissed her...the fact pf the matter is an adult male kissed a minor without her consent...That is the problem right there....

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:57 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Wouldn't he be considered a pedophile now?

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 8:03 AM on Mar. 29, 2011