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What do you do when your teen doesn't remember/or selective memory to do chores. I put note cards on her desk each day after school and weekends (2 or 3 chores). Do you take away something or give them MORE chores to do? What do you do if they sit and watch tv and then it's bedtime and the things (brushing teeth, washing face, etc) aren't done. Send them to bed earlier the next night? I say take your bedding off in the morning, she doesn't write herself a note and forgets. What do I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:18 AM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • I dont have a teen. I can tell you what my mom did.

    I had a chore chart, until I was moved out. I have ADD and that was the best way for me to remember. I had certain days things had to be done on, and if they werent done before I sat down and watched TV, I either got grounded, got my phone taken (which I paid for), or I wasnt allowed to go out that weekend.

    I also had a bedtime until I was moved out and I was expected to do basic hygiene practices (obviously), and if I didnt, I was grounded. Plain and simple. Lay out the consequences for each thing she doesnt want to do.

    Answer by ArmyWifeAshlie at 8:22 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Mine aren't allowed to watch tv, play outside or basically do anything fun until their chores are done. 15 minutes before bedtime if my kids aren't ready for bed (teeth brushed, face washed, etc.) then they have to go on upstairs and get it done. Usually they do those things right after they take their shower at night.

    Answer by missanc at 8:25 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Nothing fun like TV, games, etc until chores are done. Take all the anger out of it and be matter of fact.  Post the rules of the house somewhere.  TV gets turned off at a specific time and oversee her getting ready for bed to make sure teeth get done, etc.  Be there like she is three years old if necessary until she does it on her own.  Have a cuddly night time routine even though she is a teen.  I tucked my kids into bed right through high school.  It was a bonding time that was welcome by all of us.  They mention it to this day.


    Answer by elizabr at 8:27 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Pick your battles carefully. My daughter eventually gets around to it. I find that taking cell ph away or not letting her watch tv until chores are done works well. GL

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 8:29 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I have a chore chart but chores have never been a big deal here in my house. I have a few they know to do that help me out like take out the trash for me, pick up their rooms, bring down their laundry etc. If they dont lets say bring down their laundry then they wear dirty clothes. I think its happened one time with each teen and they remembered the next time. I also have plenty to take away from them when they dont do as I asked. I can take a cell phone, Xbox etc. Just start taking things away.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:30 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • mine have a list, and they can't do anything until the list is done

    Answer by joanie70 at 9:15 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • First - you TURN THE TV OFF!! YOU are the parent. We aren't to be the FRIENDS of our children, we are their PARENTS. And if that means turning off the TV, taking away the cell phones and turning off the computer.

    If necessary, make a check off list to be gone through BEFORE electronics and free time are allowed.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:12 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • The way it works in my house is very similar to what gemgem shared. Chores have never been a huge deal in my house, there are chores they do to help me out as well (trash, vacuum, wash dishes, pick up your dirty laundry). If they don't bring their laundry it doesn't get washed and they can do it themselves. I don't have set times for other chores to be done, I simply ask them to do it. Sometimes they jump up and get it done other times they give me a time when they will get to it. If the time passes I reminded them usually its done then, if its not then I do start taking things away. Typically I take away time with friends, no going out, no having friends over, that usually works. It rarely gets to that point. I think I've cancelled a sleep over once.
    There aren't set bedtimes for my 16 yr old just my 12 yr old right now. There is rarely an argument in our house these days.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:19 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • How to get your teen to do chores? Take away priviliges...learning begins at home...when you send your child to school, and she doesn't complete or do her homework, is there a consequence at school? In the real world, if she had a job and refused or forgot to do her work, what do you think would happen? She has to be held accountable for her actions and if turning off the tv to get her to brush her teeth before bed, do her chores, or whatever you've asked of her, then do're the parent, and she's the child she has to be taught how your rules in your house works and the only person to teach her that is YOU...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:09 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • if taking things away dont work....well....I had to stop doing his laundry (it is to be in the laundry room by Thursday night) gross as it was for me when dishes didn't go in the dishwasher they didn't get washed and when we were out of plates - wwell how could we eat??? The laundry lassted about 2 missed washes til it started makin it to the room - the dishes lasted about 4 days....when they realize what all you do when you are no longer doing may help

    Answer by brypmom at 8:22 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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