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Co-sleeping? Good or bad?

My bf allows his 5 year old daughters to still sleep in our bed when he has her for visitation. She's not a bad girl and overall things are good. But I don't get one minute of sleep when shes here. Shes a tosser and turner and sleeps between us. Once my bf is asleep, he is out and this does not affect him, but being a light sleeper, I am kept awake all night. I've tried giving hints about her going into her own room, and even his family gets on his case about when he will do this as well, but nothing ever gets done.

I don't want to start a fight over this but I feel first off she is ready for her own bed(seeing as well he allows her to watch cartoons all night and the tv stays on all night as well) and as well since I don't sleep at all. Whats my next step? I really feel like just going down and sleeping on the couch sometimes to prove a point because talking so far has got me nowhere. I understand kids being close to their parents and co-sleeping can be helpful, but shes not a baby per say anymore. HELP!!!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Mar. 29, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (16)
  • I am all for cosleeping because its been proven to be better for the kids to a certain age. Believe it or not its something like 10-11 yrs old. My kids never stayed in my bed that long and wanted their own space. If she has her own room then I would spend alot of time in there with her and tell her how everything in that room is all hers, that room is hers, and encourage her in that way to want to be in there more. I dont think her dad is going to encourage it or make her move. So to me this would be the best way, go through her lol. Make her want to go into her own room, then you can say aww shes getting to be a big girl let her.

    Youre only other option is to start sleeping on the couch.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:48 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I'm all about co-sleeping. DD didn't even have her own bed until she was 6.

    I think you have posted about this before. You should go sleep on the couch or go sleep on her bed. That is his daughter & one day, she will not sleep in his bed anymore....let him enjoy it while he can....while she is still young. It wouldn't bother me, in fact i think i would like the fact that he is so sweet with her & enjoys sleeping with her. Says what kind of man he is...very sweet...

    Start sleeping elsewhere & see what happens. Maybe that will make him think about it harder...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:52 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I have not posted this before but ty for the insight. I feel horrible feeling as I do about this. He is a good man and overall our new family situation is going very well expect for the sleeping thing. I guess I might try the sleeping elsewhere thing. I know he might find this an insult but for my sanity and sleep time, it might be a must. Looking at the other comments and thinking if this might go on until shes 10, I might have to resort to this. Ty again.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:02 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Not a fan of co-sleeping really.  It works for some families, but not mine.  Of course at times my kids were in bed with me with nightmares, or when they were sick etc...but I never let it be a habbit.  As far as your boyfriend goes, I dunno.  I would either ask him to have her sleep on HIS side of the bed or I would go sleep on the couch.


    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:05 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I'm ambarrassed to say my kids still sleep with me. They're 9 and 8, and I sleep in the middle. When they have their friends over, we make their beds look like they sleep in them so they don't get ambarrassed. I'm a single mom, we do it as much for them as for me

    Answer by joanie70 at 9:09 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I would definitely talk to him about the tv all night. There are tons of studies showing that is not a healthy habit for a child. I'm not a fan of cosleeping in general - my bed is for myself and my husband - but I would be very uncomfortable sharing a bed with someone who was not my child. I wouldn't do it, but then I wouldn't let my kids see me in bed with someone I wasn't married to either. (I was single for 3 years and never had my bf sleep over when my kids were there until we were married)

    Answer by missanc at 9:24 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I think her sleeping in his bed is bad because her mom my see it as something potential bad. I think you need to make a point to him that if things don't change then you won't be sleeping in the same bed. Or you could tell him that it makes you uncomfortable that she is still sleeping with him.

    Answer by shelle21 at 9:34 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • what about making a bed for her next to your bed so she is still in the room see if that works

    Answer by devinalexis at 10:04 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I would not feel comfortable sharing a bed with someone else's child, nor would I want my child sleeping in someone else's bed. When she stays over if he won't put her in her bed, I would sleep there myself. I wouldn't wait until he was asleep, either, I would go in there at bedtime. Good luck (c:

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:24 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Never did cosleeping with my kids. They all went straight to their cribs and they never cried about it they were used to it. I had their crib in my room the first 6 months but they never were in my bed. We are both very heavy sleepers so the worry was we could roll over and suffocate our children as they slept. My youngest did crawl in bed with us when she got scared last night. It didn't last long she said she needed her space and I tucked her back into her bed.

    I wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping with someone elses child at all. She should be in her own bed or your fiance should go sleep in her room with her. You shouldn't have to go anywhere.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

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