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4 Bumps

Do you get part of your stress from your in laws?

I get stress from my MIL and FIL which drives me crazy. They always have a say in what we should with our daughter and how to raise her but I don't wanna be rude and tell them to go fly a kite. What should I do.


Asked by shelle21 at 9:09 AM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,522 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Some of my stress is from them, but I ignore what they say about what they think I should do regarding my kids. It got on my nerves long enough I finally nicely told them they raised their child, and I was raising my kids (their step grandkids) quite fine without their input before I met them, and I am fairly certain I am doing a fine job with the younger kids too. I also asked my mil how she felt when her parents or inlaws did it to her? She still complains about how her inlaws told her what to do with my husband lol, that ran it home for her.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:11 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Nod your head and let it go in one ear and out the other.. put on your best plastic smile and just let it all go! Some of the advice they give may be useful but as well all know, no one knows your kids better than you.. take what you like ignore what you dont.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 9:11 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Tell them nicely that you appreciate their advice, but that you're just fine with figuring it all out on your own. I would tell them that all the advice they give you is stressing you out. You HAVE to tell them, regardless how you think they will feel....or they will keep doing it.

    When my EX mother in law used to give me advice this is exactly what i would say "Thanks for the advice, but i prefer to do things my own way" She would get irritated with me for not taking her advice, but she eventually got the picture & stopped.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:12 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Tell them they need to respect you as individual and a parent. That you appreciate any advice but you may feel that is not what is best for you and your family.

    Of course there is always the hand in the face approach, "talk to the hand!" haha jk. Sometimes you feel like doing that.

    Answer by DaNanny28 at 9:51 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I used to have stress about it, when I was in my 20's. Now I appreciate what they do and let the other stuff they do that bothers me slide for the most part.

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 9:11 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I use to but have since picked who was allowed in my life and who wasn't and who would be kept at a distance and things are better, I had people complain every time I would cut my DD's hair, if they were not in dresses and all prettied up then I was a bad mom, they had plenty to say about my clothing also and what kind of mother dresses that way? really got old really fast, but now the angry judgmental souls are no longer around me and I am happy! the ones who are know to keep their mouths shut and mind their own business.

    Answer by momto4girzls at 9:15 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • To say no would be a blessing. Right now we have a lot going on with the inlaws.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:29 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Nope no stress from my in laws, dh has stress with his inlaws though lol

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 9:35 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • For years nearly all of the stress in my life stemmed from my MIL and her desire to control everyone around her. Finally, I decided I had had enough. I stopped caring what she thought about my life and it has been a huge weight lifted. She acts like we are terrible parents, and that I am an unfit wife for my husband. I'm not sure exactly what she expects, she's no June Cleaver herself. In any case, when she tries to "give advice" I simply let her know that I have it under control. Her hatefulness toward me has even made my kids not want to spend time with her, so in a way she made her own noose.


    Answer by scout_mom at 10:06 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • only mu mil stresses me out!

    Answer by mommie_of02 at 10:41 AM on Mar. 29, 2011