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2 Bumps

Weight loss and your SO opinion about it

Ok so I have always been a bigger woman. Not huge by any means but ever since I hit my teens I was never skinny. I've done the up and down thing and recently started losing a little. I am happy about this and would like to lose about 20 more. Right now I am 5'1 and about 150. My heaviest was 240 about 4 years ago, and lightest ever was about 130-140. Anyways my dilemma is this, we all know that how you feel about yourself plays a huge part in your overall happiness in life. I don't feel I look bad for my age etc but since the extra weight is starting to come off, I wanna lose the rest. My SO on the other hand is not happy about this and I am a bit confused and I'll explain why. He has told me he is not into skinny women. He likes curves and always has been with more voluptuous woman such as myself. He noticed I have lost a little and told me very sternly that he does not want me losing anymore. My confusion comes from his comments or me having seen him looking at women who he thinks are hot. All these women are not really how I am built. They are closer to the 36-24-36 that a lot of men think are nice looking.
So my question is, why is he adamant about me not losing a little more? He always tells me I am hot and good looking as I am, but why would he strongly say he doesn't want me losing more?

If your SO has told you this, would you continue to lose the weight? I am kind of at a loss right now as to, do I or don't I? What would you do?

Answer Question
 
CopingMom33

Asked by CopingMom33 at 9:11 AM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 8 (238 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Maybe he likes to keep you overweight, because then he doesn't have to worry so much about other men finding you attractive. It can be a possessive thing. You do what makes you happy and healthy, okay?
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 9:14 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Maybe he thinks if you lose the weight then more guys will notice you and he will lose you to some other guy.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:14 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Maybe he is scared of you getting TOO sexy & gaining confidence. Maybe if you're too confident & sexy, he might have a fear of losing you. He could have some insecurities in himself & might fear losing you if you''re too sexy & men are hitting on you. This is actually common. When i lost a lot of weight, my DH was like a bull dog protecting me. All of a sudden, good looking men were checking me out left & right & he had a hard time adjusting to that. he was jealous...(he's matured since then though...lol)

    That was my experience anyway.....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:17 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • He sounds insecure. Maybe he thinks if you lose weight it'll attract more men's attention and you'll leave him. Any SO should be supportive of you becoming a healthier and happier you.
    marine_wife0520

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 9:32 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • My husband was against me losing weight to begin with. I told him I wanted to be a healthier weight, etc., and that its not about being skinny/attractive. Even when I was my skinniest, I still didn't feel attractive, but that's besides the point.

    Anyway, he's finally come to terms and started helping me. Maybe have a sit down discussion with him about why YOU want to lose the weight and to reassure him that you love HIM.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 10:44 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • BINGO to the #2 and #3 replies.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:57 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Ultimately hun, it's not about what he wants....it's about what you want. Congrats on the weight loss btw. You have to do what makes you happy, he doesn't affect your self esteem or the way you think and feel about your looks, only you control that...My hubby tends to get a bit crabby when I start to lose, but is all for me losing as long as I'm only talking about it...so I stopped talking about it with him...I won't even mention how much I've lost to him because subconsciously I do believe that he is scared of losing me or something like that...he says he doesn't get upset...but he does...so if you want to continue to lose...don't say a word to or about it with your hubby....just do it...
    It's quite possible that he doesn't want other guys checking you out, because he does have the fear of YOU changing and finding the proverbial greener grass...Good Luck.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 12:06 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

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