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How do you explain the meaning of sex to a child soon to be a teen?

 
shelle21

Asked by shelle21 at 9:13 AM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 16 (2,522 Credits)
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Answers (6)
  • i'm guessing many tweens already have a fair idea in this day and age. Ask him what he knows already and add your bit to it. Just be honest and treat him maturely
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 9:14 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I told my kids it's the way that two adults that love each other can express that love and that it's best when in the context of marriage. We also had a bit more of the how everything works and the details, but that was my explanation as the "meaning" of it.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:16 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I've always told my kids that sex in a loving and committed relationship is a way to deepen the love and committment for each other.
    MommaKath1975

    Answer by MommaKath1975 at 9:24 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I don't like telling them that it is a way to 'deepen' a committment or love because that (to me) can be misconstrued by them and as soon as they feel like they want to 'hang on' to their boyfriend/girlfriend then they remember that sex is going to make this deeper and more loving and with these young relationships that simply is just not true. Then you have a heart broken daughter who thought having sex would solidify their relationship or you have a hert broken son who thought the same.
    5FamilyTies

    Answer by 5FamilyTies at 9:31 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • The meaning, as in 2 people who love each other? Or the reason for sex is to have a baby?
    I would just be open and completely honest as to what happens when teens begin to get those emotions and feelings. Make sense? I am 33 and lost my virginity at 14. I would discuss the emotions involved before hand AND after. That when sex is in the picture the emotions are that much stronger, which means the hurt and heart ache are going to be that much stronger and worse. Even at 33 there is pain and frustration and confusing emotions once sex enters a relationship (since I am obviously not married anymore, and recently made the decision to have sex again with my BF) I agree with FamilyTies to not say it's a way to strengthen a relationship. It's going to happen sooner than later, that's the reality of it. I tend to put it out there and be straight to the point with things always, no sugar coating it here.
    2BlondeBabies

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 9:53 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • The meaning? Well, all you can do is explain what sex means to you. Your specific thoughts, feelings, and values. The meaning of sex for all people is not the same. For some sex is because they are horny. Others because they think it is special and it unites them as being closer....whatever values you have talk to him about it. Kids know that the "meaning" behind sex is not universal. If he rides a bus, goes to school, has friends, and doesn't live in a vacuum the kid knows people have different views on sex. What is hard is when parents are not honest and say: this is my view, my thoughts, my feelings, and my values. Here are my hopes for you. When parents make it universal that everyone shares the same view on sex - you become someone not knowledgeable in their eyes.  The birds and the bees part is easy the meaning is a value statement.  Share your values.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 6:07 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

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